Letter to my late mother

To: The girl who grew up to become my mother and captured my heart with mischief.

Tonight was the last night i heard your voice, the last night you spoke to me in person and the last night you touched my hand.

it was the last of many things that night, my head has not known caressing since, my tears have found way to nobody’s heart, what i eat does not matter and my mistakes are not lovingly rectified anymore.

When i think of you, i struggle to realise that you were the love of my life, that you had once held my heart and me, caressed my face and always let me kiss you goodnight.

i miss saying salam to you at night, before you turned off the lights. i miss our afternoon tea sessions and the way you watched the children play. i miss being told Sahabah’s — Prophet muhammad’s (PBuH) companions — stories when i am sad, i miss being told allah is by me and i must keep faith, i miss being reminded that nothing is difficult for Him.

i miss how you always advocated moving forward, how courageous i would feel having by my side. i miss how you never got angry if i had missed out on my homework, but instead, you taught me ‘duas’ that would come to my help if the teacher got to know.

most of all, i miss having fun with you, it was so easy to make you laugh. even during the height of your pain, you’d smile at the things i said. Holding my hand would ease your pain. You were the most beautiful person i knew, and you still continue to be.

The love you gave me has taught me to be more loving and giving and i pray i am doing right. i remember many of the lessons you taught me, but i am afraid i may have forgotten some. You captured my soul in ways i never imagined possible, my dear mother, please rest in peace.

With prayers and love, Your last born

P.S: You are missed and loved but your strength lives through me. Salam Alaykum Habeebti ’