‘I cannot disconnect from my work’
My job keeps me on the edge — to the point that I am unable to disconnect even after work hours. What can I do? — Name Withheld Dear Writer,
I am glad to read that you are recognising the need to disconnect from your job after work hours.
To maintain good physical and mental health, it is important to have work-life balance. If you do not achieve this balance, you run the risk of setting yourself up for hypertension, heart disease, depression, anxiety or burnout syndrome. You also risk distancing yourself from your family, loved ones and friends. Not having meaningful social interactions with them will eventually have a negative impact on the relationships with negative consequences.
It is very important that you have a set time in your day when you put work aside. What I mean by that is to disconnect mentally and digitally. Initially, you might have the urge to check your email and messages. You need to refrain from doing this. You need to do something else instead, even if it is a household chore, to begin to break the habit. At first, it is likely that you will feel anxiety, loneliness, or boredom, because your preoccupation with work has filled your time, and possibly warded off fears about job performance. However, this is an important first step.
I’d also encourage you to think about what you would like to do after work to increase enjoyment in life and clear your mind from workrelated thoughts. Many professionals will clear their minds with exercise, even if it is just a short walk, or some yoga, or a proper trip to the gym. Since you are a unique individual, only you will know what you find enjoyable. Have a look at hobbies you might enjoy, people you would want to spend time with, recreational activities, mindfulness and meditation. Wishing you better mental health.
I had a miscarriage a few months ago. While my body has healed, I have not completely recovered emotionally. It’s made the prospect of pregnancy terrifying for me. How do I move on? — Sarika
Dear Sarika,
I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I can only imagine how painful this experience has been for you and your loved ones.
When you ask me how to move on, I would like you to give yourself permission to grieve as long as you need to. This is a normal process that takes place over time and involves feelings, such as sadness and anger. How you experience grief will be unique to you based on your thoughts, feelings, circumstances of the miscarriage, and possibly cultural influences. For most individuals, it takes about a year to grieve and regain their sense of well-being, so I would encourage you not to put pressure on yourself to heal quickly. If you wish to, you and your loved one could choose a name and observe a day of remembrance.
Your loss could have an impact on your immunity and mental health. I would like to encourage you to practise good self-care, which includes eating healthy food, getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep, exercising, and spending time with loved ones and friends. If you find that you need someone to talk to about your feelings, or your self-care is slipping, or you are feeling depressed, please seek the services of a mental healthcare professional.
I also understand that you are terrified at the possibility of going through another miscarriage. If your doctor has cleared you, I’d encourage you to remain positive and trust your body and its natural processes. Just because you had one miscarriage does not mean you will have another one. Try to control what you can and remain positive on the factors you cannot control. You can set the stage for a healthy pregnancy when your body is healthy and your mental health good. If you have anxious thoughts, write them down and challenge them as best as you can.
Wishing you better mental health.