For the person who has everything ... gift ideas from wonderful and weird world of Goop
Every year since it launched in 2008, Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle and wellness website Goop.com makes headlines for its annual gift guide. Featuring items that are either very expensive or super-niche, the Goop edit, which is divided into categories such as wellness, kids and kitchen, has been described as absurd, outrageous and even unhinged. And this year, too, Paltrow has not let us down. Here, we pick 10 of the best and most fun items worthy of your wish list or just for a laugh.
Goop Travel Straw $22
The first red flag here is the fact this straw is made from glass. Glass, travel
– we’re not sure those two things go together. The second red flag is the price. That’s $22 for a straw. OK, , so it comes in its own recycled plastic case along with a mini-squeegee, but t it just doesn’t seem m worth the price.
Aura Stone $65
Although it looks like ike something Hawkeye f from The Avengers would use as a weapon, Goop assures us that we should: “Smooth this gua sha body-massage stone over your arms, legs, stomach and any other area that needs attention to gently massage muscles and soothe tension.”
Meditation Pillow $80
“We wanted a meditation pillow with distraction-defying firmness and shape,” say the Goop team. But what is so “distraction-defying” about a circle? Well, they’re the shape of old-school UFOs, bubbles, the Moon, hula hoops, drums. All these things are notoriously distracting. Also … doughnuts. Sorry, make that “Om, doughnuts.”
Pyramid Commode $35,000
If you’ve got a spare hundred thousand dirhams or so knocking about, how about this Elizabeth Paige Smith-designed commode? It’s a 14-drawer storage space that “creates a spatial vortex in whatever room it’s placed in, energetically lifting the vibrations”. Apparently, Kanye West is a client, if you needed another reason to (not) buy one.
Batard Bread Lamp $210
It’s a lamp. Made of bread. A real loaf covered in resin, it features an “LED light that radiates a warm, comforting glow in whatever room it’s in”. Do you know what else would give you a “warm comforting glow” for a lot less money? Eating some bread.
PlantWave $299
Hook this nifty little machine up to the leaves of your house plant and it will, Goop claims, translate what your greenery is trying to tell you into sounds.
Men’s Goop University Sweatshirt $195
From Goop’s own G Label fashion fash brand comes this sweatshirt swea that lets the whole world wor know you do not respect spe the education process in the t slightest. It says: “I have hav an BA in candles”; or, “Might “M I interest you in medical ica advice the medical community m frequently derides?”
Bedtime Rituals Bundle $84
Containing C a body oil, bubble b bath and a camomile, o silk tree flower a and turmeric tonic to “help “h l children ages 2 and up calm down naturally”, this ritual pack for youngsters also comes with a book called The Lost Elephant.
German Oat Flaker $240
Aside from German oat flakers presumably being superior to other global oat flakers, we can’t quite figure out what this kitchen product is meant to do. After all, you buy oats from the supermarket already flaked, right?
Efoil 5’6” Cruiser $12,000
Do your children love foiling? Do they think it’s “super-rad” and “gnar”? Do you even know what foiling is? Us neither, but a quick Google search yielded this: “A hybrid of surfing and hydrofoil technology, foil surfing replaces the traditional fin at the bottom of a surfboard with a much longer, hydrodynamically designed fin called a blade.” This gift was in the “tweens” section. So, if you love yours as much as $12,000, by all means, knock yourself out.