What narcissism is ( and isn’t)

ourselves and others through rose- coloured glasses,” says psychologist Craig Malkin, a lecturer at Harvard Medical School and the author of Rethinking Narcissism. That can be beneficial, because it’s helpful for all of us to feel a bit special. It fuels the confidence that allows us to take risks, like seeking a promotion or asking out an attractive stranger. But feeling too special can cause problems.

The Narcissistic Personality Inventory ( NPI) is the most commonly used measure of the trait. Developed by Robert Raskin and Calvin S Hall in 1979, it asks an individual to choose between pairs of statements that assess levels of modesty, assertiveness, inclination to lead, and willingness to manipulate others. Scores range from 0 to 40, with the average tending to fall in the low to mid- teens, depending on the group being tested. Those whose score is a standard deviation above that of their peers could reasonably be called narcissists. But a score anywhere along a wide range of the scale might still indicate a fundamentally healthy personality.

A diagnosis of pathological narcissism — which is a mental health disorder — involves different criteria. “Narcissistic Personality Disorder is an extreme manifestation of the trait,” says developmental psychologist Eddie Brummelman, a fellow at Stanford University. The disorder can be diagnosed only by a mental health professional and is suspected when a person’s narcissistic traits impair his or her daily functioning. The dysfunction might be related to identity or self- direction or cause friction in relationships due to problems with empathy and