A Link to Depression
That struggle is at the core of a new conception of narcissism, one focused as much on depression as on grandiosity. “What people hypothesise is that narcissists are prone to higher highs and lower lows,” says Seth Rosenthal, a research specialist at Yale’s Program on Climate Change Communication, who did his doctoral research on narcissism. “They have this constant need to have their greatness verified by the world around them. When reality catches up with them, they may react by becoming depressed.”
When a clear setback, such as a job loss or divorce or even a plan being scuttled, dents the carefully burnished selfimage of a narcissistic individual, “this is a real attack on who he is,” says Steven Huprich, the president- elect of the International Society for the Study of Personality Disorders and a professor at the University of Detroit Mercy. “Somebody he thought was going to trust him now very much dislikes him and is unwilling to put up with him anymore. Not surprisingly, he finds himself a little more down and depressed.”
Of course, even people with healthy mental states struggle to deal with such dramatic turnarounds, Huprich says, “but for narcissists and narcissistic personalities, loss is really very difficult, because it suggests vulnerability and weakness. It suggests that you actually aren’t immune to life’s challenges and ups and downs.”
The narcissist might also exhibit defensiveness and anger at such moments. “When they don’t get the admiration they crave, they feel ashamed and lash out aggressively,” Brummelman says. Others are unlikely to have the same sort of aggressive outbursts.
When a disappointment cuts through narcissists’ thick layer of grandiosity and self- promotion and breaches their core, their resulting melancholy or boiling rage might motivate them to seek outside help. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders ( DSM- 5), in fact, advises clinicians that individuals with NPD may present a depressed mood. They rarely, however, come in seeking treatment for their narcissism. “I’ve never heard anyone say, ‘ I think I’m a narcissistic personality’,” Huprich says.