What exactly is ghosting? it isn’t love or hate — it is the indifference of ghosting that is most painful — dr saliha afridi

30 SEPTEMBER 2016

The process of ghosting is most commonly seen in the dating context, when one party desires to end the relationship, but does not have the patience or courage to do it face to face — and opts for an easier way out. And in these cases, it’s more common than you’d think; earlier this year, online dating website Plenty of Fish surveyed 800 millennial daters ( between ages 1833) living in the US and Canada and discovered that almost 80 per cent of all s i n g l e s a n s w e r e d ‘ yes’ to having ghosted others.

While ghosting in the context of dating is no less hurtful, it is still understandable. When a close friend, colleague or acquaintance cuts off all contact with no reason whatsoever, it can easily lead to shock. “I have had many people come to me in distress because they have been ‘ unfriended’ or, worse, ‘ blocked’ by their friends or family members due to a difficult interaction or a falling out in their relationship,” says Dr Saliha Afridi, managing director of The Lighthouse Arabia Wellness Center. “But ghosting is more than that: it is when the person does not communicate with you at all — it is a total lack of acknowledgement of your existence. It isn’t love or hate — it is the indifference of ghosting that is most painful. In that way, ghosting is a passive aggressive way of communicating a very cold message, which is ‘ You are not a part of my life and you are no longer relevant or important enough for me to respond to you.’ In the virtual world, it is basically giving someone the cold shoulder, the silent treatment when someone is begging for your attention.”