The griev­ing process

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While the trauma of being blocked by a close friend is dif­fi­cult, most peo­ple who have been ghosted also have to deal with the lack of clo­sure. And the feel­ing of grief that comes with it is akin to not being able to meet a per­son phys­i­cally. As Dr Afridi says, “The mind and heart don’t know the dif­fer­ence be­tween the vir­tual world and re­al­ity. There is no dif­fer­ence in how you will feel if some­one were to give you the silent treat­ment in the real world.”

Once the per­son ghosted un­der­stands the per­ma­nency of the sit­u­a­tion, it is all too likely he or she will link it to the loss of a loved one. “In fact, I think it ( ghost­ing) is worse than the death of some­one you love,” says So­hini. “Sud­den death or a death be­fore you are rec­on­ciled is hor­ri­ble. But at least, the fi­nal­ity is not your re­spon­si­bil­ity. Here, you have to face up to the fact that not only have you lost a loved friend, but she/ he threw you out of his/ her life — with­out ex­plain­ing why.” In these cases, there’s lit­tle one can do but try to move on. Dif­fer­ent peo­ple grieve dif­fer­ently, and may take dif­fer­ent pe­ri­ods of time to re­cover. How­ever, Dr Afridi en­cour­ages those who have lost friends in this man­ner to re­mem­ber that it’s not about you — it’s about them. “If a per­son has ghosted you, then they do not have con­sid­er­a­tion for your feel­ings, and it’s prob­a­bly best you don’t see it as a form of re­jec­tion but a bless­ing that you no longer have to in­vest or be in a re­la­tion­ship where you are not being val­ued,” she ex­plains. “Your worth should not be de­ter­mined by a per­son who can­not give you the re­spect of a ma­ture con­ver­sa­tion be­fore end­ing the re­la­tion­ship.” jan­ice@ khaleej

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