WEEKEND WARRIOR
Brunty’s found some much-needed motivation in an unlikely form – a Warwickshire Antelope athlete from the 1800s… Quite a lot of triathletes are
extremely motivated people, which has never been more obvious than during the days of self-isolation when social media timelines were full of people’s tales of socially-distant spinning, garden-pond swimming, and balcony-based running.
I’ve always been slightly envious of these people who seem to have boundless enthusiasm because I’m not like this at all.
No – I am a sufferer. I’m one of those triathletes who’s never happier than when facing a ridiculously hard challenge from which I will inevitably emerge looking a bereaved moccasin. The more difficult the challenge, the more fuelled by resentment I become, and the more I dig in and won’t be beaten. This frankly disturbing mindset is a very handy characteristic to have if, like me, you have a steady stream of giant, slightly scary events looming ahead of you. However, when my race calendar suddenly became loom-free, I found that my motivation disappeared faster than a shelf-full of bog rolls. But just when I thought 2020 was going to be a write off, it happened – I found my motivation, and in the unlikeliest of places.
I have a friend, Mike, who’s researching the history of old cricket grounds – I’m just at that age – and he sent me a newspaper cutting he discovered from 1851 concerning the attempt by Warwickshire Antelope athlete Richard Manks to run 11 miles in under an hour around the long-gone Barkers Cricket Ground in Leicester. Let that sink in for a moment – 11 miles in under an hour. That’s 5:27mins/mile pace. In 1851. That’s 170 years ago, when he was undoubtedly fuelled by tea and lard, and had to run while wearing brogues, a tweed jacket, a top hat and was weighed down by an unfeasibly large moustache and mutton chop whiskers.
And I say ‘attempted’ because the referee adjudged that he failed by five seconds. FIVE SECONDS! In 1851! Considering this was more than 50 years before Swiss timing was first used in sport, they must have measured his attempt using little better than a sun dial, and the buggers ruled him out by five seconds! Apparently after the run, Richard Manks was ‘very much exhausted, so as scarcely to be able to stand upright.’ I’m not bloody surprised. But if I’d been in his weighty shoes I think I would’ve found enough breath to tell the timekeeper that he had precisely five seconds to run for his life.
I have no connection whatsoever with Richard Manks, other than we’re both from Warwickshire, but suddenly I’ve found my motivation – I have a score to settle!
So, long-dead timekeepers of Leicester, let it be known that I, Martyn Brunt, of no fixed ability, do solemnly declare that I too shall attempt to run 11 miles in under an hour, and will dedicate my inevitable triumph to the frankly phenomenal athlete Richard Manks of my home county.
Make no mistake, this is a big undertaking for me. Ten years ago at a Christmas Pudding 10-miler I managed to run 59:54mins, which is the only time I ever managed to get under the hour for that distance. I’ve also slowed down considerably since then, and have acquired many new and varied injuries and several inches of scar tissue on my hamstrings, which give me the stride length of a duck. The last time I managed to run at sub-5:30min pace was at a club training night when I ran 5 x 1-mile reps at that pace, with 2mins rest between each rep – and still had to be helped back to the club house and force-fed Wagon Wheels to revive me.
But the one thing I now have in my favour is that I’m burning with a righteous fury at the grave injustice meted out upon Warwickshire Antelope’s finest, and I’m hoping that my confrontational attitude to challenges, combined with my allround unwillingness to face reality, will compensate for my complete lack of speed and strength.
So Facebook friends, you can keep your inspirational memes – because when it comes to motivation you can’t beat a bit of good old -fashioned vengeance.
“Let that sink in for a moment – 11 miles in under an hour. 5:27/mile. In 1851”