MIND YOUR MANNERS

Etiquette was a high-stakes game

It was extremely important to be aware of the rules of etiquette before arriving in London for the social season. If you failed to meet the high standard of behaviour expected from members of the ton in their gatherings then your reputation would be at risk. This was especially a concern for the ladies, as a damaged reputation would hamper their marriage prospects and consequently their entire future.

To avoid making any embarrassing faux pas, many upper-class young ladies would prepare for the season by taking etiquette lessons. These lessons would include learning how to enter and leave a room; how to maintain a straight posture when sitting, standing and walking; and, of course, how to approach the queen and curtsy properly.

When it came to introductions, gentlemen were introduced to the ladies and not the other way round. A gentleman could not approach a lady without a formal introduction, and this could not occur until all parties agreed to be introduced. Remaining formal even after an introduction was a must and referring to another person by their first name (unless you were related) was a no-go.

Gentlemen were expected to be chivalrous while ladies had to be polite, elegant and calm, avoiding displays of obvious emotion, even when it came to laughing. However, while a lady had to be poised at all times, it was always appropriate for her to faint if faced with crude behaviour.

The biggest etiquette rule of them all was that a lady should never be alone in the company of a gentleman unless they were related or married to them, as this would attract gossip. If a lady did meet a gentleman a chaperone always had to be present. In fact, ladies were not supposed to go out alone at all and were always to be accompanied by another lady or servant – although this rule did relax towards the end of the Regency.