Breaking Taboos in the Afghan community

Only by discussing hidden suffering openly, you can change people’s minds”, Moska Maqsoodi says. Moska is a Dutch-Afghan, she came to The Netherlands from Afghanistan in 2001. For 9 years Moska has been employed as a participation employee in The Hague. Maqsoodi said: “Via my job, I meet with a lot of people from non-western backgrounds, and assist them towards an emancipated life. All the cultural dilemma’s, taboos and setbacks that people and society encounter, which I have also experienced myself. Besides my job, I’m engaged as a volunteer in projects where cultural dilemma’s and taboos are discussed. These discussions are also held in my Afghan community. Taboos about education, about freedom of choice, taboos regarding domestic violence, about sexuality, about arranged marriages and so many more difficult subjects. These subjects are sensitive in traditional, conservative families. Not only in Afghan families but also in Turkish, Kurdish, Iraqi, Iranian, Syrian, Moroccan, Somalian and so on. Nobody likes to talk about these issues and sometimes their very existence is denied.” Maqsoodi adds: “Culture and tradition are beautiful, but cannot and should not hamper the individual development of our children, and the way they connect to today’s society. If and when they do, we need to rethink them! A lot of families hold on to rigid traditions out of fear of the unknown. Western society is regarded negatively; people are afraid to lose their loved one’s respect. The gap between first-generation Afghan parents and the younger generations is huge. Only by participating in dialogue and by giving information, we can help each other and teach people how to understand each other better and change their minds. Each individual is unique and has a mind of their own. Somebody else doesn’t have the right to define your life."