Tilly’s commute is my road to stress
Mum-of-10 DAWN MILLWARD on the stresses of having a daughter using American roads each day
TILLY will be celebrating Thanksgiving for the sixth year. Nigel’s butchers have an Instagram account and are promoting the availability of turkeys. It’s Thursday, November 22 – a day like any other here, yet a holiday for Tilly.
She has a noticeable trace of an American accent. The substitution of English words for an American equivalent are slipping into our Skype calls. Car windscreen has become windshield. Biscuits are now cookies. Stolen car is not lost in translation and remains a stolen car. In five years, Tilly has had her car stolen, a second and third car written off. Unusually the car was found – more unusually a gun was found abandoned with the car. The second car incident meant a write-off as a fellow driver didn’t allow sufficient stoppage time at the traffic lights. The third incident took place as a result of a driver jumping a red light and meant a second write-off and a trip home in the pick-up truck.
Tilly chose to have a little selective recall on the third incident. The details were brought to family knowledge only via younger sister Alice. She didn’t want to increase my worry tower.
Imagine playing Jenga. Replace the wooden rectangular pieces with blocks of compacted stress: money, Christmas, being late, dental appointment, health – anything and everything which causes upset in whatever shape or form or there’s option two.
Take each individual Jenga piece and write the name or title of multiple stress provoking situation onto the sides. As each situation happens, place Jenga piece on piece until an unstable tower is created.
Add a few more wooden blocks – hence the crash. My head plays the Jenga game and the tower stays high or falls over.
Tilly drives 25 miles to work. Her journey along Highway 316 will take 20 to 25 mins. I don’t ask her for details.
She was on her way home from work. Trying to time phone calls means I will stay up late to talk to Tilly because of the six-hour time difference.
She was driving and we were talking. I could hear the heavy thud of rain in the background. Hence why travelling time came into the conversation and road layouts.
Highway 316, Tilly’s usual route, has two lanes one side of the road, two the other side of the road and a central reservation. First edit.
The central reservation is now known as a “rest lane”. The rest lane lies between two lanes of traffic heading east and two lanes of traffic heading west. There is no central barrier; no physical division of the lines of traffic. Just an additional rest lane like our hard-shoulder – only in the middle of the lanes.
Traffic can join the highway from each side of the east/ west divide simultaneously. The rest lane can be crossed by traffic in either direction. Thus traffic is able to filter onto the highway from the right, cross two lanes of traffic then cross the rest lane.
The car is then able to drive from the rest lane onto the other side of the road (meaning a complete change in direction), cross two lanes of traffic and filter off the highway. This is an intersection.
Tilly sees debris from the accidents daily. As she drove home a week ago she saw the remains of child seat in a burnt-out car.
On November 11, Veteran’s Day in the US, Highway 316 had two fatalities within 500 yards. Both on an intersection. Both after drivers had joined the highway on the right, crossed four lanes of traffic and a rest lane to exit at the opposite side of the highway.
I have a new word on my tower of stress-block Jenga – intersections.
Pete’s brother, Tony Millward, died recently. Nine weeks later, Tony’s wife Linda died.
Linda’s funeral is to be held at St Oswald’s Church next Tuesday at 12.45pm. A family service will be held at the crematorium, and after at the Ashbourne Ex-serviceman’s club. November 27 was Tony and Linda’s wedding anniversary.
Steve and Cara Millward would like to thank people for messages and cards.
With love to all.