Safari so good... if only the twins could

“WE’RE going on safari,” I shouted at the twins, who registered my excitement and smiled politely.

Naturally, by the time we’d fed, changed and prepped them, it’d be almost dark when we got there, which isn’t ideal for spotting animals hidden in acres of parkland.

No turning back because the new forward-facing surprisingly expensive car seats needed an outing.

It made me think of my own childhood, rolling around like a bag of potatoes in the back seat of my dad’s car, occasionally bumping into my brother. Obviously, I’m not complaining about making sure my children are safe, although I am saying my parents were negligent.

Anyway, we made it to the front gates, paid and realised Thomas loudly murmurs if the car isn’t moving. We were faced with the prospect of a steady 30mph through a safari park, which was both dangerous and a waste of money.

Our first sighting was best described as a deer with big horns and a weird furry back. I maintained it was an Apex, Victoria said Ibis and the twins said nothing.

The rhino was next and while Victoria and I watched this magnificent creature, the twins played with their seatbelts.

There were more exotic animals parading for our amusement but the only one who captured the twins’ interest was the emu, who came up close and attacked the door handle.

The light was fading but the excitement was building because we were in the baboon zone.

Suddenly, a medium sized primate jumped on the car and sat on the windscreen.