Just before the corona crisis, PAUL COLE checked into London’s latest landmark hotel and says the future’s so bright you’ll have to wear shades IT’S ALL BRIGHT NHOW
NHOW that’s what I call an eye opener. And no, you read that right. It isn’t a misprint. You won’t find London’s latest landmark hotel changing the city skyline – it’s a modest eightstorey affair.
But what’s inside is what makes it unmissable, because, love it or loathe it, Nhow London has brought more than a splash of colour to the Smoke.
Imagine the aftermath of an explosion in a pop art studio. Andy Warhol would have been proud.
The hotel – the first from the
Nhow chain in the UK – sits just off the City Road, not far from the
Angel Islington. Blink and you’d miss it.
But once you step through the door, blink again, then pinch yourself. No, you’re not dreaming.
And, yes, that’s Big Ben shooting skyward like a space rocket – only the clock on this one works.
It’s your introduction to a concept capital design gurus Project Orange are calling ‘London Reloaded’.
Punk meets royalty; retro meets high-tech; Shakespeare meets Cockney rhyming slang... you get the picture?
Well, most probably you don’t because this has to be seen to be believed.
Book in at reception and your gaze will be drawn to myriad video screens showing anything from bleak barbed wire to a time lapse video of an oil rig being built at sea.
There are scenes of beauty, scenes of conflict – anything, it seems, goes in films created by local artists.
Ubiquitous video screens offer changing artwork as you make your way through the hotel, standing vigil by the lifts.
Elsewhere in the foyer, chairs are dressed in splendid military uniform; a helicopter carries a chandelier; a green Shakespeare bust boasts shades; there’s classic 60s pop art too.
And, lest you forget where you are, a carefully curated soundtrack plays quietly, ranging from The Kinks’ Waterloo Sunset to Clash classic London Calling.
Project Orange say they took inspiration from traditional British icons, but gave each a contemporary, and unconventional take.
London street signs announce each floor, above railings to which a bicycle is chained. But even here, there’s a tea leaf twist.
There’s less of the bike remaining the higher you climb as, part by part, it’s stripped to the bare bones.
You head to your room down a decadently draped corridor past dimly lit townhouse doors. There’s one at the very end that seems somehow sinister, like a scene half-remembered from Twilight Zone re-runs.
Step into your room and a blood-red hallway leads to a king-sized bed, above which the Queen’s profile is painted on concrete sleepers.
British bulldog lamps flank your pillows; there’s a London bus and an old school ‘dog and bone’ to make calls on; retro teapots alongside the Nespresso machine.
The words ‘London Standard’ are scrawled on the wall in a modest work area, complete with anglepoise lamp and Christine Keeler chair.
And what’s King George III doing in my bathroom, larger than life and surveying all in front of him?
Actually, it rather depends which floor your room is on. There’s a different bathroom monarch on each – and even a (very) cheeky Nell Gwynn... Surely even Queen Victoria would be amused.
Down in the Bell & Whistle restaurant (a Cockney pub re-imagined for the 21st century) the menu – “a flexitarian feast” – is seriously on trend too.
Starters and mains are all vegetarian (think celeriac baked in salt crust, with pickled plum as an example) but wait! Because sides include Orkney scallop, herbcrusted cod, slow-cooked braised beef and pork chop.
It’s all gone Pete Tong. Breakfast
follows a similar pattern, although – whisper it quietly – you can order The Naughty Corner, a traditional full English.
There’s an all-day casual dining menu that’s more routine, extraordinary only in the fact that it’s the only ordinary thing you’ll find here.
Don’t get me started on the dizzying stairwell which looks like a child has coloured in an Escher drawing. It’ll only mess with your mind.
Last, but by no means least, head to the basement gym which is decked out to look like a London Underground station, with traditional Tube tiles and sliding doors.
Architect James Soane says he wanted to develop original and playful designs that tell a story, and in that he has certainly succeeded.
It is, he says, ‘a romantic and theatrical experience which offers the guest an immersive experience unlike any hotel, and is truly unique’.
“Nhow London required vivid storytelling to capture the concept of ‘London reloaded’,” he explains. “We were encouraged to develop a radical series of theatrical spaces for the Instagram generation.
“Each area is connected through a narrative that transforms familiar London icons into dramatic installations that catch the eye.
“The outcome is a playful and stimulating hotel, engaging guests in the ever-changing dynamic of the city.”
I was using Nhow London as a pied à terre for a couple of business meetings nearby, and enjoyed a comfortable stay. Whether you’d linger longer depends on your taste in art.
I loved it at first sight, even if it tries a tad too hard to grab your attention, shake it by the throat, then offer an apologetic smile.
The Nhow brand now has five hotels – in London, Berlin, Milan, Rotterdam and Marseille.
Amsterdam, Brussels and Frankfurt will be the next cities to fall.
And, in three years time or thereabouts, Rome, Santiago de Chile and Lima will follow suit.
Each, we are promised will be different from the others.
Would you Adam and Eve it?