BIG IN A WIG

Meth

“I’d bring in mandatory voting. If we’re going to hell, I’d at least like

to be able to blame everyone”

What were your rejected drag names?

I dabbled with Meth Any before I realised it was a crock of shit, and I used to be a burlesque performer called Mr Mistress.

Describe yourself in three emojis.

Describe your drag style in five words.

Glamorous. Stupid. Uncomfortable. Severe. Loud.

What’s the first thing you do in the morning?

Scream at my husband to make me coff ee.

And what’s the last thing you do before going to sleep?

Scream at my husband to cuddle me.

Worst pick- up line someone has said to you?

“OMG, are you Bianca Del Rio?” Joke! Who would want to pick up Bianca?

What’s the worst thing someone could say to you in bed?

“OMG, are you Bianca Del Rio?”

Where is the weirdest place you’ve had sex?

On a church altar.

Biggest turn- on?

Butts. I LOVE butts.

And turn- off ?

Toxic masculinity.

If you could be any inanimate object in the world, what would you be?

Bianca Del Rio!

What would a film of your life be called, and who would star as you in it?

“Meth, Not Even Once,” starring Alan Cumming.

What’s your life motto?

If at first you don’t succeed, have a little sit down and try again in a week.

If you could introduce any law, what it be?

Mandatory voting. If we’re going to hell, I’d at least like to be able to blame everyone.

If you could have a super power, what would it be?

I want to shit gold. There’s a certain lifestyle that I know I deserve but can’t currently aff ord.

You can banish someone to an island. Who are you sending packing?

Peter Kay. Fucking hate him.

You have a time machine: where would you travel to and what would you do?

I’d like to be a rich dandy in the Victorian era, caught up in a gigantic buggery scandal.

You’ve been told you have 24 hours left to live. How do you spend your day?

I’d go to the zoo, break into the enclosures and cuddle all the animals. I’d leave the tiger until last.

You’re dead ( sorry). What would the epitaph on your headstone read?

“We didn’t think she’d last this long either.”

If you could make contact with a dead celebrity, who would it be and what would you ask them?

Judy Garland, and I’d ask her to sing the entire Carnegie Hall concert for me.

What are your biggest vices?

Gowns, shoes and wigs. Don’t do drugs, kids, do Meth.

What makes you angry?

The systematic oppression of minorities by the state. And horrible eyelashes.

What sets UK drag queens apart from their American sisters?

Talent and dodgy wig lines.

Would you be keen to take part in the UK version of RuPaul’s Drag Race if it ever comes about?

Oh, go on then! I don’t know if she’d do it, but I’d love to compete with Myra DuBois.