THE RULES

Top bitch of the air Pam Ann presents her guide to suc­cess­ful fly­ing

Attitude - - Contents -

How to en­gage a flight at­ten­dant

LOST IN AN AIR­PORT? That’s your prob­lem. NEVER ap­proach a flight at­ten­dant for direc­tions. Do they look

like Google Maps? No, bitch. They will cut you. A Bri­tish Air­ways flight at­ten­dant will kick you in the face with

their hoof

CAN’T FIND A FLIGHT AT­TEN­DANT? They may be oth­er­wise en­gaged. Just ‘ cos no­body wants to screw you in the air, that doesn’t mean a bitch

can’t snag some cock while on the job

NEVER IN­TER­RUPT FLIGHT AT­TEN­DANTS

READ­ING MAG­A­ZINES or chat­ting in the gal­ley. Can’t a bitch catch a break? FUCK OFF

back to your seat and wait to be spo­ken to!

THIRSTY? Want a drink? Are you for cof­fee? Why don’t you take

the hint and just fuck- of­fee.

IF YOU RE­ALLY WANT A PLEAS­ANT

FLIGHT, just don’t en­gage with flight at­ten­dants, pe­riod. Your ex­is­tence is mean­ing­less to them.

No­body gives a shit NEVER POKE A FLIGHT AT­TEN­DANT You rude fuck­ing dick! Keep your scrawny ap­pendage to your­self. No­body cares

THE CALL BUT­TON is wired to Im­mi­gra­tion & Cus­toms — the more you use it, the more is­sues you will have. This is not for call­ing flight at­ten­dants at your plea­sure, ar­se­hole! You only have your­self to blame if a kilo of co­caine ends up in your lug­gage when cus­toms of­fi­cers search you in Dubai air­port

PAS­SEN­GERS ARE SELF- LOAD­ING CARGO… so sit down, shut the fuck up, and en­ter­tain your­selves. Or die. Qui­etly. And don’t make a mess. We’re not here to clean up af­ter your re­gret­table life choices

THE BEST WAY TO EN­GAGE is to just smile, lift your own bags, and leave chil­dren at home

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