BIG IN A WIG
Mary Mac
Mary Mac
Hailing from Glasgow, Mary Mac now holds court up and down the country. We’re more than a wee bit fond of this tartan- wrapped
queen, but haud your wheesht during one of her shows unless you want to feel the pointy end
of her sharp wit!
What were your rejected drag names?
I’ve always been Mary Mac. It’s my mum’s name.
Describe yourself in three emojis.
Describe your drag style in fi ve words.
Under- rehearsed madness that works.
What keeps you awake at night?
Whether I’m getting a window seat on my next Ryanair fl ight.
Worst pick- up line someone has said to you?
“You’re much shorter than you look on stage.”
What’s the worst thing someone could say to you in bed?
“I’ve been in this Travelodge before.”
Where is the weirdest place you’ve had sex?
Stoke- on- Trent.
If you could be any inanimate object in the world, what would you be?
Bianca Del Rio’s bottom lashes. The places they’ve been and the sights they’ve seen — and that’s just looking in the mirror.
What would a fi lm of your life be called, and who would star in it?
High Flying Haggis, with Janette Krankie.
What’s your spirit animal?
Sloth. I’m very lazy and have been known to hang upside
down off large pieces of wood…
Which cocktail best suits your personality?
A Pornstar Martini.
What would your fragrance be called, and what ingredients would it contain?
Scottish Summer, with rain water, crushed heather and chip fat.
You have a time machine. Where would you travel to?
Back to the 1980s so I could experience the club and cabaret scene in London, watching legends such as Lily Savage, Phil Starr and Regina Fong.
If you could introduce any law, what it be?
Only one Steps song per weekend per drag queen.
What is your biggest vice?
Irn Bru. It’s the reason 40 per cent of my teeth aren’t mine.
You can banish someone to an island. Who is it?
Piers Morgan — go pick a fi ght with a coconut tree.
You’re dead ( sorry). What would the epitaph on your headstone read?
“Mary Mac, Mary Mac is no more, she died dancing like she’d never danced before.”
What does heaven look like?
The front room of The Two Brewers on a Bank Holiday Sunday.
And hell?
The back room of The Two Brewers.
If you could contact a dead celebrity, who would it be?
Danny La Rue. I’d ask him if I could have a few of his old frocks and feathers.
What’s the best thing about Scotland?
Getting rat- arsed for less than £ 20!
And the worst?
It’s fucking freezing.
What’s your life motto?
Enjoy yourself and remember to smile.
Brexit is…
The worst mash- up of two words since Brangelina.
What would you write in a leaving card to Theresa May?
Uber is on me Theresa darling, to the furthest fuck- off corner of the world?
Which song do you slay in a lip- synch?
Donald, Where’s Your Troosers?
“Uber is on me Theresa darling, to the furthest fuck- off corner of the world?”
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