LIFE LESSONS

Therapist Matthew Dempsey

What most men really want is to feel valued, needed and loved. We all need the same thing

THE BIGGEST HURDLE FACING THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY

IS THE WAY WE TREAT OUR

OWN. HETEROSEXISM AND TRANSPHOBIA GETS EASILY INTERNALISED AND NEGATIVELY PROJECTED ON TO THOSE OF OUR OWN COMMUNITY AND WE CAN BE VICIOUS. WE NEED TO BE WAY MORE COMPASSIONATE, PATIENT, KIND AND GENTLE WITH EACH OTHER

When I am angry or frustrated, I manage my emotions by being honest with myself about what’s really up. Anger is a secondary emotion in response to more vulnerable feelings such as sadness, hurt, loneliness or fear

I come to the table with an informed perspective and strong ideas but never preach or assume I’m the expert on anyone but myself

106

SEPTEMBER 2019

I’VE HEARD IT ALL [ DURING MY CLIENT’S THERAPY SESSIONS] SO ALMOST NOTHING SURPRISES ME. AT THE RISK OF SOUNDING CLICHÉD, THE MOST CONSISTENT THING I KEEP LEARNING OVER AND OVER AGAIN IS THAT EVERY SINGLE ISSUE CAN BE REDUCED DOWN TO A FEAR OF INADEQUACY, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS SHAME

The biggest issue people have with sex is that they “yuck their yum”. Our society has historically shamed us for very normal, healthy sexual expression and desires and we’ve bought into it. Fuck that. If it’s with consenting adults and it gets you going, then get going, honey

I’m pretty open about my personal life when it’s relevant to what my client shares, and find it to be some of the most therapeutic and healing moments

The most important thing LGBTQ people can do to look after their mental health is to go to therapy! There is affordable and sometimes free therapy and support services available everywhere

MY HAPPY PLACE IS MY HOME. I’M A NESTER SO I PUT A LOT OF LOVE INTO CREATING MY LITTLE COCOON My most treasured possession is my gratitude journal. Every morning, I sit down for about an hour and write down all the things I have in my life, because when you focus on the abundance of your life, you don’t grasp for anything else

My biggest fear is public speaking, but I’m working on it...

SOCIAL MEDIA CAN BE A NEUTRAL TOOL, IT’S ALL IN HOW YOU USE IT. I ONLY FOLLOW FRIENDS, FAMILY AND ACCOUNTS THAT INSPIRE

ME. I ONLY SCROLL THROUGH HOT BOYS ON OCCASION — THAT’S DESSERT, NOT A MEAL

If I could live one day again, it would be the one when I shot a video with friends, about the special bond between a mom and her gay son

Racism: it’s real, it’s alive, and we are becoming more woke in this generation to the nuances of racism. Still, we’ve got a long way to go towards an equal distribution of power, and staying open to difficult conversations is necessary