REAL BODIES
Drag king and trans non- binary performer Romeo de la Cruz
You may be wondering who Romeo De La Cruz is. They are an energetic, enigmatic humxn whose scintillating performances mash up a craft of dance, drag and boylesque to produce a twisted concoction of their majestic fetish.
When people ask me how I identify, my answer is very simple: skin, blood, bones, oxygen- dependent. But, in finer details, I am trans non- binary, and I use the pronouns them and they — in and out of drag.
It is a continuous struggle even when
you know who you are. For a long time, I questioned my existence: I didn’t know what this feeling was, how to talk about it, or what my options were.
At the age of 19, I told my ma that I was gay, and remember immediately being labelled androgynous, masculine- feminine and stud. Nine years later, I publicly came out to my ma as trans non- binary, at the fifth birthday celebrations of [ drag king club night] Boi Box. She replied that she always knew.
Growing up, I took no interest in what I had [ physically]. I was aware that my mind, body and heart weren’t connected to my sex, sexuality and gender identity. I covered up by wearing baggy clothes, curved my back to avoid knowing I had a chest — or duct taped it — and, during puberty, wore the tightest, best- flattening bras.
I also began building muscle and tried to
“I have never valued my voice, my feelings,
my opinions”
be as physically active as possible by playing American football.
As an adult, I became more aware and finally opened my eyes to how it was affecting me mentally, physically and socially.
I never wanted to talk about my body with anyone, even though I had constant thoughts about it. It was more of a “deal with it later” thing and, looking back, I think I threw myself into work ( at one point I had four jobs) because I didn’t want to address the situation.
Nowadays, I don’t feel anything when looking at myself in the mirror. Taking steps to [ become] who I am keeps me focused. I’m dealing with what I’ve got until I change.
Wait, not change, but correct who I am. My body doesn’t define me. I define my body regardless of my chest, genitalia and documentation.
I am an introverted, semi- reserved and humble person, and I have never valued my voice, my opinions, or my feelings. I’ve always felt hushed.
Unless, that is, it has benefited a certain individual, school or college, or even some parts of the drag and cabaret community.
This led to self- silencing and a build up of emotions. That’s why I was keen to take part in this feature. I’ve found my voice, and I want to say what I do with my body isn’t to enhance me, but to be me.
With my wife, my ma, my immediate, inlaw, chosen and drag family, I don’t need to be as strong as I appear to be.
I can be open with them about how I feel without pressure or judgment.
Romeo was born in February 2013 in the basement of London’s Candy Bar, where I used to work.
Initially, I didn’t want to go on stage but my drag parents Adam All and Apple Derrieres had seen me dance — dance was the only way I could express myself because my body spoke my emotions.
Six years down the line, I am now the drag father to performers Khristian Stanswick, Maik Stand and Knob Ross.
Be who you want to be, not what others choose to see. That statement alone is what I live and perform by.
I’m not here to represent society “norms”. I want to share my story: the good, the bad and the ugly, that have made me into the person I am today. If my act can help just one other person exact positive change, make them believe in themselves, well one is better than none.
International Transgender Day of Visibility took place a few months ago and, in my experience and those of my close ones, transphobia crosses paths with femmephobia, xenophobia, ageism, colourism, genderism, racism and sexism.
The most important thing to know about transphobia is that it occurs within the community. Outside it, we expect prejudice because there has been a long history of that, but I hope for better from everyone inside the LGBTQ community.
When I look at my fellow drag kings — trans, non- binary, gender non- conforming humxns — I see strong, resilient, courageous role models not only for the next generation of performers but the community as a whole.
We are human and 100 per cent valid. Romeo De La Cruz performs with The Cocoa Butter Club thecocoabutterclub. com
@_ romeo_ de_ la_ cruz_