BIG IN A WIG
It’s a bug’s life for this selfproclaimed Queen Flea. Tick- ing all the right boxes, the Brighton- based bombshell is a force to be reckoned with – not even pest control can handle her!
Lydia L’Scabies
What were your rejected drag names?
Lydia Bitters — bitter by name, bitter by nature.
Describe yourself in three emojis.
Describe your drag style in five words.
Glamorous. Gross. Slaggy. Infectious. Incurable.
Worst pick- up line someone has said to you?
“So… fingers?”
How would ( or does) your Grindr profi le read?
Not just a little bit of a slag.
What’s the worst thing someone could say to you in bed?
Someone repeatedly saying “shit”.
What is your biggest turn- on?
Someone saying “hi” back.
And turn- off ?
Odd socks.
What is your safe word?
Usually just an audible “nuhuh”, paired with a gentle kick.
Where is the strangest place you’ve had sex?
These days a bed is such a novelty.
Love is…
… all around me and so the feeling grows.
What is the secret to unlocking your heart?
A troubled creative who doesn’t get on with their parents, and who looks as if they’re about to drop dead.
Which cocktail best suits your personality?
A cheap- ass margarita.
What’s your spirit animal?
A Persian cat that looks furious to be alive.
If you could be any inanimate object in the world, what would you be?
A lipstick- stained cigarette.
What would a film of your life be called?
Flaws – and the movie poster would be Jaws- inspired, with a monstrous Lydia coming from the depths to prey on an unsuspecting ginger boy swimming in the sea.
What would your own fragrance be called, and what ingredients would it contain?
La Poubelle, which is French for “trash can”. It would be made with fermented fruits, hops, tequila and tobacco.
What’s your life motto?
Always take an Imodium on a first date.
Your house is on fire: what one thing would you save?
My pet cockroaches’ tank. I have three gals, called Mildred, Mavis and Nervous.
Let’s play Cluedo. You’ve been murdered: who did it, where and with what?
Rococo Chanel. In the girls’ toilet, with a poisoned shot of gold tequila.
You’re dead ( sorry). What would the epitaph on your headstone say?
Well, now what?
What does heaven look like?
I won’t be let in.
And hell?
The middle of Soho during Pride in London, and I have five suitcases.
What makes you smile?
Seeing children burst into tears over dropping ice cream.
What is your biggest fear?
The zombie apocalypse.
What advice would you give your younger self?
Stop biting your nails, and listen to your bloody mother.
You’re our reigning Queen Flea. If you could rule the world for a day, what would you do?
Make Nigel Farage and company clean LGBTQ venues.
“A monstrous Lydia coming from the depths to prey on an unsuspecting ginger swimmer”