Table For Two
CURTIS AND JONATHAN DINED AT M VICTORIA STREET, LONDON
What were you hoping to get out of the date?
C: To meet [ actor] Ben Platt, or a gay Childish Gambino. More realistically, a chatty, good- looking guy to eat with.
J: More self- confidence, a future boyfriend and a good glass of wine. I achieved two out of three. What were your first impressions? C: Handsome, well- dressed, a little nervous but rather than being awkward about it, he was somehow extra friendly.
J: A lovely, laid- back guy.
How different was he to your usual type? C: I gravitate towards well- dressed men, which he was.
J: A few years ago, my type would have been tall, slim, handsome and Caucasian. He was shorter, but handsome nonetheless. Would you have swiped left or right? C: Probably left. It would depend on what his profile said.
J: Honestly… left.
How was the conversation and what did you talk about?
C: We covered the standard stuff – interests, family, work, travel – as well as our thoughts on romance, the pressure to look a certain way in gay culture and how much we love living in London.
J: Once I had a drink in my hand, the conversation flowed faster than the wine going down my neck. We spoke about everything from gay culture to Game of Thrones. What was the most interesting thing about him?
C: Travel really seems to be Jonathan’s way of life and a part of who he is. I’ve met very few people for whom being on the move is so integral.
J: I was impressed that he could speak
a number of different languages. He has lived and studied around Europe. What was his best quality?
C: His warmth. He was very friendly.
J: He is a people person.
What did you make of his dress sense? C: He had a beautiful necklace representing something rather poetic ( I forget what exactly) and nice loafers.
J: They always say you can judge someone by their dress sense and he was well put together. Were there any deal- breakers?
C: He strongly believes that if you have time to read a text, you have time to text back. My turnaround can be upwards of two business days…
J: I told him that if he was to message me, I would reply within three minutes. He said to expect a text back within three business days. That’s not acceptable! What do you think he thought of you? C: He paid me a few compliments so he can’t have thought I was an absolute munter.
J: We both thought highly of each other. He was glad that I kept the conversation going. What were you most worried he would notice about you?
C: My sweaty back. Thanks Jubilee line.
J: That I was a little nervous – you know, when your hands are sweating, you have a slight stutter, and your mouth is as dry as the Sahara. How was the food? C: I got to try wagyu steak for the first
time which I’ve been wanting to do for ages, so that was great.
J: The service, the food and the atmosphere were incredible. I’ll definitely eat there again. Any awkward moments?
C: Maybe the texting thing. I was also possibly a bit forceful in insisting we didn’t have rosé, but Jonathan was very gracious about it.
J: There were no awkward silences, which I was happy about. There’s nothing worse than it being all crickets and tumbleweed. How did the night end? C: We made our way to the Tube and had a little hug. I think he wished me good luck, which felt rather final.
J: We walked back to the station together and said goodbye. What would you have changed about the night?
C: I had a lovely time, but I naturally would have rather met someone I had a spark with.
J: It was actually a pretty perfect date.
Snog, marry, avoid? C: Avoid, but not because I actively disliked him. I just didn’t fancy him enough to want a snog.
J: I wouldn’t avoid or marry him, so it’d have to be a cheeky snog. Will you meet again? C: No numbers were exchanged. If I do happen to bump into him again, I’ll happily have a little catch- up.
J: As great as the date was, we agreed that there was no romantic spark.