A PROBLEM SHARED

Got a problem? Dr Ranj Singh is here to off er his advice

I’m so sorry about the loss of your mum. When something like that happens, it can take a massive toll, and it’s not unusual for it to trigger conditions such as anxiety. Although we can’t necessarily control these major life- altering events, we can train ourselves how to deal with the fallout from them.

First, it is important to understand that anxiety is a normal feeling, and you shouldn’t be scared or ashamed of it. We all get it from time to time, but usually it doesn’t stand in the way of day- to- day living. However, if it becomes frequent, hard to control, or interferes with your ability to do things, then it could be developing into an anxiety disorder, which needs addressing.

You may have tried several things to handle your anxiety, but here are a few general tips:

1 Face your fears. Your initial reaction may be to avoid any triggers, but this could perpetuate the problem. It’s better to confront them head- on.

2 Remember that anxiety is not your fault. It’s your body’s natural defence mechanisms going into overdrive.

3 Be mindful of what you are experiencing and tell yourself that the uncomfortable feeling of anxiety will pass.

4 Find a calm, safe space and give yourself time for the feelings to run their course.

When you are in the grips of an anxiety episode, actively trying to relax and breathe through it can help. There is a technique called box breathing that you might want to give a go: get yourself into a comfortable position ( lying down is usually best); breathe in slowly through your nose into your belly to a count of four, pause; breathe out to the count of four, pause again; then repeat. Do this four or five times.

This method focuses your mind on something else and relaxes your body. Some people use their arm to draw an imaginary box as they breathe in and out to give them something to visualise.

If you’re really struggling, then please don’t be afraid to speak to a medical professional. Medication isn’t always the first resort. Often people benefi t from talking therapy such as counselling, especially if there are some issues around your mum’s death that you still need to work through.

Paying attention to your diet, exercising and making an eff ort to get good- quality sleep are all key, too.

And if it comes to it, taking medication is no bad thing if it helps you to cope with your anxiety and to live a happier life.

My mum died last year and ever since, I’ve had really bad anxiety, which is becoming more difficult to control. I don’t want to take medication so is there anything else I can do?