LIFE LESSONS

HIV/ Aids and LGBTQ rights activist

Human rights advocate Bisi Alimi

Fear didn’t win out for Bisi Alimi, who grew up in Nigeria, where being gay is punished with imprisonment or, in some parts, the death penalty. After attempting suicide and even undergoing an exorcism as a teen, Bisi learnt to embrace his sexuality

and, in 2004, became the first Nigerian to come out on national TV. When threats were made on his life, he fled to the UK, where he lives with

his husband, Anthony. Christened “the angelic trouble

maker”, Bisi, 44, is now an

HIV/ Aids and LGBTQ rights activist. In October, he organised a Pride event in his home city of Lagos, fighting for

LGBTQ freedom in Nigeria.

MY EARLIEST CHILDHOOD MEMORY IS BEING TOLD BY MY RELIGIOUS MUM THAT WHATEVER I AM DOING THAT GOD IS NOT HAPPY WITH, I SHOULD STOP, OR I WILL GO TO HELL. THAT WAS MY FIRST INTRODUCTION TO BEING GAY

I struggled so hard that I went for an exorcism, and by the time I was 17, I had attempted my first suicide. However, it was not all doom and gloom. At 18, I attended my first gay party in Lagos, and it was the beginning of my self- discovery

If I could give my younger self a piece of advice, it would be that it sure does get better

Activism means personal – if your activism is not personal, then you have lost the plot

To be an LGBTQ activist, you must know the why. If you don’t know the why, then you have no mission and objective

The biggest obstacle I face with my activism work is [ our] divided community. It breaks my heart that, as a community of activists, we spend time fighting each other, rather than working with one another. We are stronger together

My lowest point was losing my late boyfriend when I moved to the UK. When he died, a big part of my life left with him. I went into a depression, became homeless and ended up in a mental institution. I never thought I would come out of it

THE PROUDEST

MOMENT OF MY CAREER WAS WHEN I MET THE OBAMAS. I WAS INVITED TO THE WHITE HOUSE, A GAY MAN WITH A VERY POOR BACKGROUND FROM ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS SLUMS IN NIGERIA, STANDING IN FRONT OF ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL BLACK MEN IN THE WORLD, AND SHAKING HANDS AND HAVING A CHAT WITH HIM. I FELT AS IF I HAD DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN

My life motto is: after winter comes spring

It would surprise people to know that I am a bathtub singer. And that I am also a drag queen

MY GUILTY PLEASURE IS HAVING A MASSIVE CRUSH ON MICHAEL BUBLÉ

My greatest strength, or so I have been told, is my smile. It has taken me far...

MY WEAKNESS IS BEING TOO UPFRONT AND HONEST. I’VE LOST MANY FRIENDS DUE TO THAT AND I NEED TO LEARN TO TAME MY TONGUE

A misconception about me is that I’m arrogant. I am a very shy person, who easily gets overwhelmed by too many things happening around me

The last thing that put a smile on my face was my dog, Benji. He has this crazy idea of jumping on my bed in the morning and waiting for me to say “Off” because he thinks it’s fun

THE LAST TIME I EXPERIENCED THE KINDNESS OF A STRANGER WAS WHEN I WAS IN SOUTH THANET CAMPAIGNING AGAINST UKIP. I DID A STUNT IN THE MIDDLE OF TOWN, ASKING PEOPLE TO HUG ME, OR ASK

ME A QUESTION. FOR ALMOST SIX MINUTES, NO ONE DID — UNTIL A YOUNG GIRL, ABOUT FIVE YEARS OLD, GAVE ME THE HUG OF MY LIFE

I met my husband on Grindr. We clicked and have been a couple for five years now, and married for three

In the next 10 years, I hope the dreams of all LGBTQ people in Africa, to live an authentic and unapologetic life, becomes a reality