BIG IN A WIG
Frieda Slaves
What were your rejected drag names?
Jamaica Hormone. Caj Monet. Iona Slaves – but I’m saving that for when I adopt a white sister for Rileasa Slaves.
Describe yourself in three emojis. Describe your drag style in fi ve words.
Thicc. Hairy. Thirsty. Cheap. Powerful.
What keeps you awake at night?
Your dad.
Worst pick- up line someone has said to you?
“I don’t normally eat chocolate, but for you I’ll make an exception.”
What’s the worst thing someone could say to you in bed?
Someone actually said, “If only you were taller, richer and white” – while my 6ft, poor, brown booty was in their bed!
How would ( or does) your Grindr profi le read?
Hold me, please – alongside a picture of me Photoshopped onto Falkor the luck dragon.
Biggest turn- on?
A furry body, like a wild bear in the forest.
Biggest turn- off ?
Bad teeth and breath, like a wild bear in the forest.
What is your safe word?
Broccoli.
What is your best asset?
“Someone said, ‘ If only you were taller, richer and white’ while my 6ft, poor, brown booty was in their bed”
My large, thick, warm, slightly hairy, throbbing… hands. I’m also a massage therapist, so they’re pretty valuable to me.
What is the best way to your heart?
Cardiac catheterisation.
If you could be any inanimate object in the world, what would you be?
Zoë Kravitz’s spoon. Just so I can say I’ve been licked by her, her dad, her mum and her stepdad. Imagine having Lenny Kravitz and Jason Momoa as father fi gures!
What is your biggest phobia?
Belly buttons. It originated from my nan saying if I played with my button, my Jimmi would fall off . I very much like my Jimmi…
Your house is on fi re: what one thing would you save?
My original 1994 “Mandela For President” campaign poster.
You’ve started a cult. What is it about?
The cult of Saint Nicole Scherzinger.
If you could contact a deceased celebrity, who would it be and what would you ask them?
Martin Luther King Jr. I’d ask him the important question: what would have been your favourite Spice Girls B- side track?
Let’s play Cluedo. You’ve been murdered: who did it, where and with what?
Séayoncé. At a gig. Their shows are so funny they give me an asthma attack.
You’re dead ( sorry about that, hun). What does the epitaph on your gravestone say?
“Hair longer than her life expectancy”.
If you could turn back time, what would you get up to?
I would absolutely go back to Ancient Greece, but only if I could be rich and white. Spoiler alert: us melanated folk don’t bode too well in historical times.
What is your top tip for surviving self- isolation?
Tune into these online drag shows and tip a queen. Also, send nudes to @ freidaslaves just so I know you’re safe. Oh, and wash your hands, you dutty pig!