Tom + Chaim + Jesse

THREE’S COMPANY

For some people, the desire or need to have a third party present lasts longer than one night and goes far deeper than a physical connection. This was the case for Tom and Chaim. They’d been married for 15 years and hadn’t been actively searching for someone new when they met Jesse. Alas, they fell in love, and despite the societal norms we’re accustomed to, started a three- way relationship — known as a throuple or triad.

They all knew that some things had to be shaken up to accommodate Jesse’s arrival. “Tom and I had to essentially break up and start a new relationship from the ground up,” says Chaim. “The entire foundation of our relationship got brought back into question, which was terrifying while also being incredibly revitalising. We got the chance to rediscover each other and be shown new sides that we’d never seen.”

Interpersonal difficulties were not the only obstacles all three had to face when solidifying themselves as a throuple. “Society is not equipped to deal with a three- person relationship,” remarks Jesse. “We have to explain ourselves in the face of confused reactions constantly.”

Tom continues, “If that wasn’t tough enough, even simple daily tasks become more complicated with three.”

Opening a bank account: straightforward for two, long- winded for three. Booking a hotel room: easy for two, tricky for three. Going through passport control: no questions asked for two, a lot of questions asked for three. Buying a bed: shop- bought for two, custom- made for three!

Although Tom, Chaim and Jesse spend the majority of their time together, sometimes hanging out in couples suits them better. How often do we do something our other half wants to do, simply to make them happy? A lot, should be the answer. Well, here comes a blessing these three have discovered along the way: when you have two partners, you don’t have to pretend to like something ever again. “Chances are, if you don’t want to join in, the other one will,” jokes Jesse.

This newfound pattern of encountering things in pairs plays a significant part in the bedroom, too. In this relationship, the connection between any given pair is unique and different, and that also goes for sex. A new partner to play around with opened up the doors to new experiences. Any sexual revelations discovered between two of them are eagerly shared with the other partner. As for threesomes, having every participant know and love one another only maximises the intensity and passion.

For the majority of couples, society has pitched marriage as the final and most prominent step in their journey. As you can guess, things get a little different with three. The commitment Tom and Chaim made to Jesse was promising that when they were ready to take their next step as a throuple, they would get divorced. An unorthodox demonstration for sure, but a strong symbol of their devotion to him and a way to even out the playing field, making each player an equal teammate.

To summarise ( and perhaps simplify) how this kind of relationship works, Tom puts it beautifully: “You may have twice the problems and twice the fights, but you get twice the love, too, and that makes it all so worth it.”

“Tom and I had to break up and start a new relationship from the ground up” Chaim

“You may have twice the fights, but you get twice the love, too” Tom

“Society is not equipped to deal with a three- person relationship” Jesse