PARAJUMPERS FALL/WINTER 2020
For Fall/Winter 2020, Parajumpers have revisited their men’s Masterpiece line, conceived in 2006 by Massimo Rossetti. Collaborating with Italian fashion designer Leonardo Fasolo, the brand have redesigned these heritage pieces, and used the latest fabric technologies and dyeing techniques to give them a contemporary feel. These premium, down-filled, oversized bomber jackets and parkas come in an array of colours, including pencil blue, forest green, black, asphalt grey, and, of course, orange, with the signature PJS detailing.
Keep water chilled with this cool bottle, £26, by Ted Baker
tedbaker.com
The stylish Harris Cèilidh gin bottle, £45, by Isle of Harris Distillery
harrisdistillery.com
A tasty Espresso Martini Liqueur, £22, by Hotel Chocolat
hotelchocolat.com
Beats Flex earphones, £49.99, by Apple Tech meets Beats Sound
apple.com
Dare to be bold with this bright sock box, £27.95, by Billy Ruffian
billyruffianshoes.co.uk
Altar bougie parfumée candle, £59, by BYREDO
byredo.com
Expert maintenance set for men — cleanse, exfoliate, moisturize
luminskin.com
Classic dive watch with Tritium illumination, £480, by Nite
nitewatches.com
Dual XL bracelet in sterling silver and blue Kyanite stones, £120, by Hetariki
hetariki.com
Make It Real Together advent calendar, £130, by The Body Shop
bodyshop.com
AVOID THE NEWS. Miss Rona? I don’t know her. Stick to funny cat memes instead — did you see the
one with the wet ass pussy?
STAY ACTIVE. Exercise is super important — endorphins and all that. Start small by occasionally flexing your index finger as you flick through Netflix.
USE YOUR TIME PRODUCTIVELY. As the dark nights draw in, organise that spice rack, sort out your sock drawer, open the Pandora’s box containing your
repressed childhood memories…
PRACTISE SELF-CARE. Check in with your mental health each and every day. If needs be, scream into your
local abyss every now and then.
PLAN SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. 2021 is totally going to be our year. Oh, wait, that’s what we said last year…
KEEP WARM by cosying up to a hotblooded man. Yes, Matt Hancock, we’re in an established relationship, look how far he’s established his dick inside our ass!
SEE THE LIGHT. Make the most of the sun when it is out. Great opportunity, too, to scare little kids with your new wintry wardrobe!
CREATE A PLAYLIST OF POSITIVE VIBE SONGS: S Club 7, Steps… how did
sneak in there? And what is this hell I’m living?!
HIBERNATE, HUNS. If all else fails, sleep through it. Only wake up at the touch of a mighty prick. Gurl gotta eat!
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