HOT HOTEL
Birch Community
It’s time to upgrade your staycation experience. And by upgrade, I mean rewrite the rule book. Despite a stopand-start launch last year due to Miss Rona, Birch Community has established itself with fanfare, being hailed by The Times as Hotel of the Year.
When considering a stay at this selfstyled anti-hotel, park your expectations at the door. The Georgian mansion nestled in 22 hectares of woodland in Cheshunt, Hertfordshire, presents a grandiose greeting on arrival. Formerly Theobalds House, the estate was once home to Lady Meux, a 19th-century rollerskating aristocrat whose extraordinary life more than merits a deep dive.
Birch is different from other hotels: it strips its rooms of the frivolities of other premium locations. They have no televisions or mini-bar, and are only cleaned on request. The concept is simple: Birch wants you to spend as little time in your room as possible. And there’s much to keep you occupied.
Want an active break? The impressive work-out areas are on a par with your regular gym, with a fully pimped-out spin studio and classes, too. The newly built lido is heated for use in all seasons, and the tequila bar alongside it offers the most dangerous margaritas that I cannot rave about enough. As a result, we plant our butts in the deckchairs and leave the swimming to others.
There’s plenty to stimulate your artistic side, too, with Bauhaus plate painting and pottery classes – two activities neither the boyfriend nor I would ever think of doing back in the real world. What’s more, we get to take our surprisingly impressive creations home as a souvenir.
The restaurants at Birch are beyond sensational. Valeries offers all-day dining that is superbly priced for the standard on offer — the fish options are especially pleasing. But the real gem on the estate is the Zebra Riding Club dining room, named after Lady Meux’s fabulous penchant for riding into London on a zebra-drawn carriage. (We stan Lady Meux!) Presented by chef Robin Gill, the restaurant uses produce grown on the estate or that is as local as possible. I cannot recommend a booking here enough! Your taste buds will thank you with every bite.
Beyond the restaurants, outdoor barbecues are available, and Birch also bakes its own sourdough bread each morning. You can even join the baking fun — if you can hack the 6am start time.
Birch offers a break as busy or benign as you please, all done in sublime, unfussy style. I have no doubt that the spirit of Lady Meux is looking down on her former home, in full approval of what Birch has lovingly created.