Wildest Dreams

Pansexual, Polish-born Patryk Lawry models Autumn/Winter 2021, and talks to us about being LGBTQ+ in the world of fashion

2021-08-12 - Fashion and words Joseph Kocharian Photography Dean Ryan McDaid

Most of us are still clinging on to our unfulfilled Gossip Girl and Sex and the City fantasies of moving to New York to live the fabulous life (the reboots of the aforementioned shows are only feeding that flight of fancy), but model Patryk Lawry seems to be living that dream, like a less problematic Emily from Emily in Paris. Plucked from Police, a town in north-west Poland, in his teens, and whisked off to work in New York, the 23-year-old talks to us about navigating the fashion world, falling in love in a new city, and coming out as pansexual to his parents back home.

How did you get scouted as a model?

On Instagram. I had been scouted a couple of times over the past few years, but there was always a problem with my height. This time, [agent] Jordan Morris messaged me on Instagram and asked if I would be interested in modelling in New York. At first, I read the message and I was, like, OK, this person is 100 per cent cat-fishing me because there’s no way… [laughs] I was sitting in Poland in my hometown and it seemed unreal. But a couple of months later, I got my visa. We met and I started working as a model in New York.

How old were you when you were discovered?

I was 18, turning 19.

You must feel blessed to be able to travel the world?

I’ve been so grateful for everything that’s happened to me. It’s so funny because I was always fantasising about moving to New York or LA. When it actually happened, my mum was super surprised.

I remember my sister calling my mum and telling her she was crazy to let me go [laughs].

What was it like going to New York for the first time?

I had been dreaming about being in that city since I was a kid. Seeing it on television and imagining how the grass is greener on the other side of the world, and then actually experiencing that was unreal.

Do you have a dream brand you would like to model for?

There are so many — each representing a different aesthetic. I remember when I was first in New York, I was walking around Soho and saw this big billboard, which is always a Calvin Klein billboard, so that’s obviously one [I’d like to model for]. I’ve also been obsessed with Saint Laurent for a long time, and Alexander McQueen.

Where would you most like to visit for a modelling assignment?

Oh my God, there are so many [places]. I would love to go to Mexico and shoot there. Tokyo is a big one — at the same time, it might be overwhelming, but it’s one of my [dream destinations].

Do you feel like you get to explore yourself through fashion?

When I first started, I did a lot of shoots where people would be throwing me in women’s clothing and tights and dresses, and I was totally fine with it. I’m part of

“Moving to New York helped me explore fashion and made me feel more confident about myself”

someone’s vision, and me being part of that means trusting the other person to create it. It’s always exciting to do that. Living in my hometown back in Poland, it was always considered weird to play around with fashion. Most of the people there dress the same, so you end up being one person in the crowd, but after moving to New York and being there for two and a half years, it made me feel more confident about myself. I can put something on that I feel comfortable in, whether that’s a woman’s or a man’s sweater… They’re only clothes, and these are labels that we’re putting onto them; it’s just material. New York gave me the freedom to explore that and my sexuality, and fashion helped a lot.

Did you find a group of friends in NYC who helped you come out?

Even in Poland, I was always surrounding myself with people who supported each other. We were basically in a bubble and trying to push each other to do better. When I first went to NYC, the first few months were tough, because you feel very lonely. It’s such a big city, and I only knew my agent and one other friend, but now I’ve created a small community that I can call my family, [who have] supported me through everything.

I’ve spoken to a lot of LGBTQ+ models, and they’ve often said that when modelling and travelling to different cities all the time, no matter where you are, you find a queer family.

“At the end of the day, we fall in love with the person; it doesn’t really matter what gender they are”

Definitely. I think that gives you room to grow as well. I recently came out to my parents, and I think that if it were not for that two and a half years spent in New York, with my supportive friends, I don’t believe it [coming out] would ever have happened.

Are your parents back in Poland? Was coming out a positive experience?

I think I was more pushing myself back on it than my mum and my dad. We all have friends that have had a tough road, who were not accepted in their surroundings, and that’s obviously scary. It was a hard thing to do, but it was good, because they love me very much and they’re going to support me.

Did you tell them in person?

I wanted to do it in person, but I haven’t seen them in a year and a half, because of the COVID situation. Also, a lot of things have changed [for me] — I started dating my boyfriend ten months ago, so it was hard to keep it a secret from [my parents] for such a long time, so last month, I just had a conversation with my mum about it.

Has she met him on video call?

Sadly, [when I told her] I was already in London. They met on Zoom, but at the time she thought that he was just my friend. But my mum has the same [outlook] as me; we had many conversations when I was growing up, and I was always

surrounding myself with people who were in the LGBTQ+ community. At the end of the day, we fall in love with the person; it doesn’t really matter what gender they are. The most important part is that you feel comfortable with them and they make you feel loved and supported. It’s basically a partnership. You are together through the best and the worst. The other person’s gender shouldn’t mean anything.

How did you meet your boyfriend?

We met on a shoot on one of my first modelling jobs in New York, so maybe four years ago, I think, when I first got to NYC. I remember we were chatting all day, it was super nice. But after a month, I had to come back to Poland and I started modelling in Europe and had to sort my work visa, so it took a bit of time for me to get back to New York.

What was he doing on the shoot?

He was filming. So back then, we didn’t cross paths, as I moved back to Poland, but when I came back to New York, we reconnected and started hanging out with each other, became friends, then after a couple of months, it turned into a relationship.

It sounds like a fairytale — moving to the big city and falling in love.

It is! (Laughs)

Is it tough being in Europe and away from him for a long period of time?

I’ve been away from him for a month and a half now. I mean, it’s tough whether it’s a friendship, relationship or family.

Did you spend the main part of lockdown together?

“I’m very grateful to have support from family and my friends and surrounding myself only with love”

We did, and then we went on a few road trips through the country together. We drove from New York to LA. It took us about six days.

When do you think you’ll see him again?

I’m planning to go back at the end of the summer, but for my next trip, I’m planning to go to see my family in Poland.

You said you were very fortunate with your family. There are obviously a lot of LGBTQ+ issues in Poland. Did that affect your decision to come out to your parents later?

Definitely, that’s why I think that if it wasn’t for this whole journey to New York and travelling, exploring the world, I don’t think I would [have had] the courage. I’m very grateful to have support from family and my friends and really surrounding myself only with love. I’m very lucky to have that, because a lot of people don’t have that, especially in my country. There is so much misunderstanding of LGBTQ+ issues [in Poland], it’s crazy. I remember spending quarantine in New York and reading what was happening in Poland. There was a women’s rights movement at the same time as the LGBTQ+ movement. It was hurtful to see all this misinformation spread about the community. I had always thought about when my parents knew [that I was pan], I was worried if they were going to support me or not, but at the same time, if they were going to,

how was it going to affect them as well, to hear all the hurtful stuff [being said], and being surrounded by such a hateful environment. At the same time, I am not saying that the whole of Poland is like that, and obviously [homophobia] is everywhere. Just a month ago there was Samuel (Luiz) from Spain, who was killed for being gay. It’s a scary world.

How do you think things can change in Poland? Will it be a slow thing?

I think it’s going to come down to the new generation. There are a lot of misconceptions [shown] on television, which is usually watched by older people there.

How do your LGBTQ+ friends back in Poland feel about the situation? Are they worried?

They are obviously worried, but my LGBTQ+ friends have supportive families. My friend told me the other day [about a

situation] she was in, coming back from a friend’s house with her girlfriend, and a man was following them. All the time, in the back of your head, you’re creating scenarios, like what could go wrong in this situation? Why is it happening?. I think that’s terrifying.

You identify as pansexual. Can you remember when you first thought you were different?

I was struggling with it for a long time. I wasn’t sure who I was. I am still exploring who I am — we all do that [for] our entire lives and figure out what we are here for and who we are. New York gave me that opportunity. I just wanted to be with the person I love, and it doesn’t matter who that is. That’s the most important part, to be in a relationship that helps you and [where] you’re there for each other.

Do you feel like people put you in a box?

My whole life I have been called gay, but also the worst words [that come with

“I came out of my comfort zone, of my closet, ten months ago, when I started dating my boyfriend”

that]. Back in Poland, I went to an arts high school, and it was very open, where nobody cared, you could wear what you wanted. It was weird as it was also a bubble. You would go in and you could be free, but then outside high school, you’d be called names.

You said that fashion helped you become more comfortable with who you are?

I’ve been lucky. I had a good energy around me and I basically came out of my comfort zone, of my closet, ten months ago, when I started dating my boyfriend. So it’s been a new experience, with [both taking place] at the same time.

I’m guessing your boyfriend was very supportive of you coming out? How did he feel about you being in the closet?

He was very supportive, but at the same time, I understood that it was a weird situation for him, because he has been out for years. It must have been difficult for him not to have the relationship that he would have imagined [for the first few months]. For me, it was like jumping into huge [unknown] waters all of a sudden and I didn’t know what to do with myself, exploring a situation that I felt weird and awkward about, but it’s amazing as he gave me that space and he was supportive for my whole journey.

Do you feel a big difference in how you feel, having come out?

There has been a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. I am happy I decided to leave my comfort zone and do it and just enjoy my life and not worry [about] what other people think or say about it.

A Aknvas aknvas.com

Alexander McQueen alexandermcqueen.com

Anastasia Bull anastasiabull.com

Balenciaga balenciaga.com

Balmain balmain.com

B Bvlgari at John Lewis johnlewis.com

C Calvin Klein calvinklein.co.uk

CDLP cdlp.com

Clio Peppiatt cliopeppiatt.co.uk

Colmar colmar.it

D Diesel at Boots boots.com

Dior dior.com