CONNOR SWINDELLS
Sex Education’s resident ‘bad boy’ schools us on toxic masculinity and how life-changing the show has been for him
Sex Education ‘bad boy’ Connor Swindells — who recently made waves in hit BBC drama Vigil — schools Attitude on how life-changing the show has been for him, checking toxic masculinity and what’s in store for his romance with on-screen boyfriend Ncuti Gatwa
making a bad-taste joke about your late grandmother’s penchant for peen is a do-I-cut-the-red-or-blue-wire risk that has the potential to decimate the mood of whatever room you’re in: oh, hello, tumbleweed. The impromptu remark comes splurging out my mouth after Sex Education star Connor Swindells – serving mean and moody Wolverine ‘you can sink your claws into me any time’ vibes in jeans and a leather jacket – shares an anecdote about a guy who has a giant cock tattooed on his forearm, and how shocking it would be if, for instance, his sweet ol’ granny was to ever lay eyes on the inking.
Cue rude riposte, which I won’t put in print here, because you really did have to be there to appreciate it. Fortunately, the cheap quip lassoes a laugh from Connor and that is the most important thing; although I did have to say three Hail Mary’s and self-flagellate for an hour when I got home. (Sorry, Nan, hope you’re not reading this.)
Arriving for his Attitude cover shoot in London’s Whitechapel at a seriously nifty studio space, a one-time bell foundry where, fact fans, Big Ben came ringing into existence, a sun-kissed, loose vest-clad Connor cuts a very chilled figure.
The British actor has been busy; as well as making waves in the BBC’s must-see murder mystery Vigil, opposite Suranne Jones, he recently wrapped filming on upcoming project SAS: Rogue Heroes in Morocco. Based on Ben Macintyre’s bestselling book, it sees him step up as a member of the Special Forces alongside Dominic West, Jack O’Connell and Alfie Allen. Initial thought: hot. More pressing is the much-anticipated return of Netflix’s Sex Education, the tabootickling, teenage trope-twisting comedy drama in which Connor made his name.
Set inside fictional Moordale Secondary School, the series – created and written by Laurie Nunn – is centred around the premise of a teen sex therapist dishing out advice from the school bogs, and has attracted a top-drawer cast that includes the legendary Gillian Anderson (obvs) and a roster of future talents, with Connor enrolled as Adam Groff, the ex-headmaster’s son and formerly closeted bully now dating the dude he used to mercilessly pick on, the unapologetically queer, trombone-blowing Eric Effiong (Ncuti Gatwa).
The pair have come a long way since their early flirtations (well, Adam shoving Eric against his locker on a daily basis), and Connor hints that a rocky road lies ahead in season three, which drops on the streaming giant on 17 September. “[Adam’s] trying with Eric to be the person that
he wants him to be — whether that’s working or not is up for question. He’s more open to trying to be a better version of himself, and to make up for his past abusive behaviour that they both had with each other, and to turn that around,” he teases.
“Like all relationships, you’ve got to deal with the stuff in the past, you can’t just move on and carry on without working through it, and that comes to light. You see them try with one another to make their relationship head in the right direction, which is what everyone wants to see.”
Art mingling with life, the 24-year-old can relate to his alter-ego, the bad boy with glimmers of a heart of gold: “I see his arrogance and his ignorance as something that I have used as a way to keep myself safe in the past. To be ignorant to the things that are going on around me, the lives of others, means you can be far more self-sufficient than you might otherwise be… Maybe if I hadn’t had the fortunes I have, I might still be like that.”
Naturally, appearing on the show has made him revisit his own school years; for many of us, these are memories we would like to remain buried in the deepest, darkest crevices of our brains, thank you, please. “I, sort of, was quite self-destructive in many ways,” he recalls. “But I was lucky enough to be athletic and to be involved in athletics and sports and boxing and things like that, which kept me on track. As a destructive young man – or as an energetic young man – it was a chance for me to put all that energy into something, which I think is so important for young men especially.
“It’s annoying, because I often have this fantasy of going back to high school after achieving success in some way and saying to my teachers, ‘I told you so.’ But if I was to go back, they would have no idea who I was. I completely skated by, doing the bare minimum I could and made no impression on their lives whatsoever, probably on anyone’s lives. I think my classmates had the biggest shock of their lives when Sex Education originally came on, or when any number of things that I’ve worked on started coming out and they saw that I was an actor and, you know, actually working.”
A considered, contemplative chap, Connor, who grew up in West Sussex, spells out how much he has learned from joining one of the most colourful casts on television: “There were only four Black people in my school to begin with, so being on a show like this, where it’s so diverse and meeting such a range of people from all different types of cultures and ethnicities and social backgrounds
– I’m only used to being around workingclass people my whole life. To be put into an environment… where you’re around everyone, that’s been such a wonderful growing point. Had I not had this opportunity, I don’t know if I would have ever [got] out of my little bubble.”
He adds that the game-changing TV hit has encouraged people, himself included, to talk about issues they might have otherwise avoided for fear of the ‘cancel culture’ axe falling upon their heads. “The main thing that I find so helpful about the show is the ability to have questions answered that I might actually be too scared to ask in this current climate, do you know what I mean?” Connor explains.
“I feel like there’s a sense of not being able to grow at the moment, through being cancelled or whatever it is. The show for a lot of people might answer their questions about sexuality or gender or whatever it is in a way that would then open up the conversation for them to have with other people.”
On the subject of gender and gender stereotypes, Connor opens up about grappling with toxic masculinity: “My mum’s side of the family is really working class. I was talking to a friend about this today, in that your masculinity was shown by your endurance level. As a labourer, if you could get through a full working day drinking half a bottle of water and [eating] one sandwich, that was considered masculine, which is probably something that not many people are aware of, because that stuff comes from working-class backgrounds, where they’re not wanting to speak about masculinity and the forms that it takes.
“[Then there is] the whole point-scoring system, which I really try to catch myself on and oftentimes fail, especially when speaking to people who are in the [acting] business as well, and not trying to turn conversation back to what I’ve been up to, which is so easily done. The nature of the industry breeds that anyway; everyone’s always wanting to gloat and then wanting to ask what you’ve been doing. So, I think, just trying to catch myself and be engaged and take interest in what other people are doing and disregard what my masculinity goes screaming out.”
Given its title, Sex Education has grabbed tons of attention and plaudits for its portrayal of sex, forgoing the OTT moans, groans, oohs, aahs and saxophone interludes – OK, I’m showing my age – of your fave sticky-fingered porn films to capture the awkward, fumbly and sometimes downright funny side of fucking.
“Adam’s arrogance and ignorance is something I have used to keep myself safe in the past. To be ignorant to the lives of others means you can be self-sufficient”
I have this fantasy of going back to high school after achieving success in some way, and saying to my teachers, ‘I told you so,’ but they would have no idea who I was
(The opening scene of the latest outing is brilliantly bonk-ers and features a great sight gag involving Adam’s famously large appendage. To cut, ahem, a schlong story short, Connor would prefer to maintain “the mystery of the penis” and not go into the details of the prosthetic package he wears.)
“I would have had a harder time had the sex scenes been really intimate. When you cover them with the guise of comedy and so on, it’s a lot easier,” Connor continues.
“We have really open conversations with the directors and the intimacy co-ordinators. Our producer Jon Jennings, who is fantastic and well-versed in all of this now, is very good at holding your hand when you are feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable.
“Working with the intimacy co-ordinator, you get a one-to-one system going before even heading into those environments where you might feel socially pressured to say yes to something that you might not want to do; you always speak beforehand so they know your limits and things you’re comfortable with, which is important for keeping everyone safe.”
It helps that he has developed a close bond with on-screen partner Ncuti: “Totally, yeah. He’s been such a – you know, we’ve known each other for years now, and we’ve been through so much within the show and in our lives. We all have as a cast. That’s why we’re all so glued together. We were kids when we started this and we still are, kids with a little bit more behind us that we didn’t have before. We’ve managed to keep each other on track during all that, which I think isn’t the case for a lot of other shows that blow up.”
I move on to ask Connor, who is believed to be dating his co-star Aimee Lou Wood, aka Aimee Gibbs, about something Ben Affleck reportedly said way back when in the ’90s, that kissing another man is “the greatest challenge an actor can face”. Connor, who has locked lips with a fella for his craft, offers his take.
“I think there was definitely an old Hollywood thing, which was that it was more of a career dive once you [took on a gay role]. I mean, that was entirely turned on its head when River Phoenix made it, sort of, ‘fashionable’ in a way with My Own Private Idaho,” he muses. “Before then it was seen as career fucking suicide or something to a lot of people.”
Indeed, a few high-profile actors turned down Ang Lee’s Brokeback Mountain before Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal jumped into the saddle. “Because of that reason,” Connor notes. “They were like, is this going to reflect negatively on my career? And it’s not the case. At least I don’t think so. I’ve just played the leader of the SAS in the 1940s, where sexuality was just – you were ‘straight’ and that was it. To go from playing a gay character, a bisexual character, to doing that shows that it’s not a thing any more.”
Name-checking Robin Williams as an idol of his – pointing out, coincidentally, that the day of our shoot (11 August) happens to be the anniversary of the movie icon’s death – Connor reveals that he has a complicated relationship with acting and never used to see it as a “real job”.
Until, that is, he started interacting with the Sex Education fans, particularly the LGBTQ+ huns. “It’s lovely, really sweet,” he smiles. “Often you can get so disenfranchised with – at least I do – all of this, because there’s so much money involved and this and that, and it’s nice to have those human connections again, to make you feel like you are actually doing something of some good, you know? If I feel down about – because I’ll have that toxic masculine thing that comes into my head of thinking that what I do isn’t a real job and that I should be on a building site or whatever.
“Whenever I have that thought and I’m then fortunate enough to have experiences like that with people who have seen the show, it makes me feel a lot better about being an entertainer. Representation is a big thing, but I think more about just entertaining people and taking people out of the shit for an hour is nice.”
He goes on: “I do [still] wrestle with that sometimes, but I definitely see it more as an honourable thing to do now. Probably because of the pandemic and stuff, how much people have depended on TV during this hard time where everyone’s been at home. I felt – not to be too – I don’t know what the word is – pretentious or high and mighty about it – but I do feel privileged that I was able to, as an actor, help people through this time.”
We finish with a yearbook-style game of superlatives, as Connor is challenged to pick the cast member most likely to become Prime Minister in the UK; I mean, anybody’s better than BoJo.
“Alistair Petrie [who plays Connor’s onscreen dad Michael Groff],” he replies in a heartbeat. “And I really hope it happens because I think he has some good policies that would make the world a better place. He would hash out a lot of bad behaviour and fill hearts with joy and laughter because he is such a wonderful person. He means a lot to me.”
“The show for a lot of people might answer their questions about sexuality or gender or whatever it is in a way that would then open up the conversation for them to have with other people”