Debbie is out to help people suffering depression Thrive
How she quite managed to keep her ‘ work face’ going for two decades is probably a sign of her inner strength.
The 300 aerospace colleagues of Debbie Lees reading this article today will have had no idea.
For 20 years Debbie, now 42, battled bouts of depression, social anxiety, low self- esteem and low confidence.
She’s a continuous improvement leader for Europe East and Africa at one of the main firms in the Prestwick aerospace cluster and has been responsible for up to 60 staff. Yet at the weekend she would tuck herself away in her Prestwick bungalow, unprepared to face the world.
Debbie started as a youth trainee at BAe aged just 16 and loves the industry.
But she said: “My colleagues will be surprised to read I had depression, I’ve only told close friends and family. I missed out on so many things.
“I would get invites to go on nights out and all I would do is want to hide, not talk to anyone and stay in my bed.
“I would just cancel and give an excuse I didn’t feel well.
“When I look back I wonder how I got through it all.
“It’s very tiring putting on the face all the time.” Yet in all those years she only ever missed work twice through her silent illness, once because of her divorce.
She’s tried treatments such as cognitive behavioural therapy and various medications.
But nothing worked in the long term and nothing got to the root cause of her condition.
The punchline of this story is probably expected by this time ... and here it is.
Debbie says she’s now cured, loving life and has reached such a state of genuine happiness, she will marry next year.
Now she wants to help others after training to be a teacher of the process that helped smash her own demons.
Two weeks ago she began in business as a consultant with the Thrive Programme.
She will carry on with her aerospace job and has turned an outbuilding in her garden into a teaching room.
Debbie said: “A year and a half ago I read an article on the Thrive Programme and signed up.
“Basically within six weeks I was cured, no more depression.” She has now found love with Gary Liddell, who works in HR, and they’ll marry next year after he popped the question in Venice.
Debbie said: “I had been thinking I would never find anybody.
“Never in a million years would I have thought I would be planning my wedding and setting up my own business.”
She is now one of 100 UK Thrive consultants offering a six- week course and she began training in April.
If some people are too anxious to leave home, she can also use Skype and FaceTime.
Debbie is not doing it solely for the money – she’s already an independent businesswoman with her own home and convertible sports car.
She said: “I want to do this because of my personal history and to help others.
“Counselling tends to concentrate on your past and all the bad things that might have happened.
“This is not counselling, it is retraining your thoughts.
“It is not therapy so I am not a therapist. I am a coach or a teacher.
“Thrive changes your thinking so you don’t have your negative thoughts.
“Depression and related illness is a huge problem, and more difficult for men to open up on.”
Debbie added: “The course is about reframing thoughts or mind changing and can also be useful for phobias, stopping smoking and losing weight.
“If you tell yourself you cannot do something you are not going to be able to because of the barrier you have built in your mind.
“Some of the thoughts may be only two weeks old, although you may think they’re from something way back in your past.
“It is not actually the incident in your past that is causing your depression, but your reaction to what happened in the past.”
As she talks she touches a jar with black balls and white balls.
The black are for dark negative thoughts and the white for light and positive.
In her case it is now a sea of white.