Time travelling dream for Ayr
I’d love to future- proof crown jewels
It’s amazing how many of my pub regulars have suddenly become Dr Who fans.
The fact that the Time Lord has acquired legs, blonde hair and is now a very shapely Time Lady – is just a mere coincidence!
To be honest, the banter usually centres on what adventures my customers would get up to if they ever got trapped in the Tardis ... with actress Jodie Whittaker ... for a couple of light years.
But last weekend, we managed to raise the conversation up to the level of what we might do if we really DID have access to a time machine – and use the past to help change the future.
There were all kinds of great ideas – including one bloke who wanted to go back to Culloden in April 1746 – “Just tae give Bonnie Prince Charlie a heads up!”
I gave it some thought and – to change the future of South Ayrshire – I decided I’d go back to 1974, the death throes of Ayr Town Council and the birth of Kyle and Carrick District Council.
I’d get Provost Alexander Handyside’s hand on the Auld Kirk Bible and make him swear to protect the town’s greatest assets with a legal “ring fence” that could never be overturned.
And if he didn’t believe my foretelling of Ayr’s 21st century demise – I’d show him pictures of Belleisle House Hotel in virtual ruin and Ayr Station Hotel wearing a giant nappy!
I’d have asked him to draw up a list of local “crown jewels” that should be sacrosanct to all future development.
And I’d have started with lands “gifted” for the good of the community – Craigie, Belleisle, Auchincruive and Rozelle.
We’ve already overdeveloped Craigie, destroyed Belleisle and about to do both to Auchincruive. Rozelle can count itself lucky ... so far.
Next, I’d have passed laws to protect our natural assets – the River Ayr, Ayr Harbour and Ayr’s seafront.
Our river now has an ugly university on one side and a gap site on the other.
Our harbour is now devoid of any real commercial link to the sea and has been desecrated with flats.
This overdevelopment is now spreading like a concrete cancer towards the Horizon Hotel.
I’d have slapped planning cordons around our sporting resources – Somerset Park, Ayr Racecourse, Millbrae and Cambusdoon.
And the same for our golf courses at Belleisle, Seafield and Damilling.
Somerset Park – probably miraculously – remains intact, Ayr Racecourse co- hosts a giant Tesco, the old Cambusdoon was laid waste for housing – its replacement laid waste to Alloway’s Robertson’s Field – and the future of Millbrae is now a matter of speculation.
High- flying Ayr RFC would thrive on a move nearer the town centre – possibly Dam Park – for a whole raft of sporting and commercial reasons.
But what will the likes of Cala or Persimmon Homes build on its unrivalled riverside site?
And meanwhile, the relentless march of the housebuilder continues to leave a shadow over Dalmilling’s golf course.
And there’s a further threat to Seafield with a proposed golf academy taking over at least two prime holes.
If I’d taken all this back in time to the council chamber of 1974 – they’d have called in the Daleks with orders to exterminate!
Then again – instead of turning the time dial backwards – I could have gone forward for a peep at South Ayrshire in 2074!
Er ... no ... I don’t fancy that option either.
Maybe being stuck in the Tardis with Jodie Whittaker, for a couple of light years, was the best option after all!
If I’d taken all this back to 1974 – they’d have called in the Daleks with orders to exterminate