RICK HULSE

*Gormless: A northern English term referring to the sort of mouth-breathing shit-for-brains buffoon who ambles through life, constantly treading in dog poo, and tripping over nonexistent objects while jabbering inanities to all and sundry through the sort of smile normally only found on dolphins, axolotls and inbred fools (Boris Johnson, Donald Trump, Prince Philip, etc.).

**Munter: An extremely fat, habitually indolent woman between the ages of fifteen and forty-five who'll shag for chips, and perform fellatio purely for the calorific value of nob cheese. Though normally lethargic, and slow to use a vacuum cleaner, they can produce a surprising turn of sustained speed when motivated by free food or Bacardi Breezers and, indeed, munters in south Manchester've been known to keep pace with a speeding Ginster's van all the way to Rochdale.