THE GURU IMPARTS MORE OF HIS KNOWLEDGE OF MECHANICS

CAN WE HAVE A THINK ABOUT THE WORD ‘PATRONISING’ FOR A MOMENT? IT COMES FROM THE SAME LATIN ROOT AS PATERNAL SO I LIKE TO THINK THAT, RATHER THAN IT MEANING ‘EXPLAINING THINGS IN AN INSULTING WAY’, IT REALLY MEANS ‘STUFF YOUR DAD SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU’.

Aclassic example appears to be wet shaving which, it seems, a lot of people’re just expected to know about without ever having had the information relayed to them (which might explain the popularity of beards these days). On the other hand, there are plenty of videos on YouTube about it, but the best advice for anyone who doesn’t get on with wet shaving is stop using soap – soap coats the blades, dulls them, and leads to cuts (which’s why you should always rinse the razor off in really hot water). Hang on though, this isn’t Barbers Shaving Heads – it’s Back Street Heroes, so probably best to switch to a different subject?

Tools’re a subject where there’s a risk of patronising people so perhaps we could go there instead? If you’re just starting out, and’ve decided that it might be time to do some of your own work on your motorcycle, but have absolutely no tools, then where do you start? A quick Google brings up plenty of options – you can get a box and some tools for around the £120 mark (plus or minus £30 or so) that’s sold as a ‘mechanic’s tool box’ but, after a half-hour spent looking at them (or research as we like to call it), none of them appear to me to be much

use to you if you want to work on a Japanese motorcycle.

The first problem is that a lot of the tool count is made up of detachable screwdriver bits and, secondly, the Allen key sets are usually the shorty ones. The screwdrivers won’t actually fit your motorcycle, and I’m not sure exactly whether you call them electrician’s pliers or linesman’s pliers, but I'm exactly sure that they're a bit pointless for working on motorcycles. Probably the first thing to buy if you’re working on a Japanese motorcycle is a set of JIS screwdrivers (Fig.1) – you’ll probably have to buy them off eBay, and they’re around £11 for the US Pro or the Sealey offerings, and this’ll give you a set of screwdrivers that’ll fit the screws on the motorcycle, because Japanese Industrial Standard screws're different from the Phillips screws commonly used in Europe. JIS screwdrivers are rather hard to find locally and, if you do, they’re likely to cost you more as they’re a bit ‘specialised’ or, to use the alternative spelling, ‘expensive’. Since you’re going to need a selection of plain screwdrivers too, then I’m going to suggest the tool section of your local Pound shop, and a set of 12 that’re branded either US Pro or Hilka (Fig.2). Apart from stabbing yourself in the hand with them, you won’t find much use for the Phillips head ones, but at around £10 you’re hard pressed to find as large a selection of plain screwdrivers for that sort of money.

Those on their own’ll undo a few things, but you’re going to need some spanners, and what you want there is a set of ‘combination’ spanners – the ones that have a ring at one end, and open jaws at the other (Fig.3). Again look for stuff that’s branded Hilka, US Pro, or Kamasa, but certainly avoid anything that doesn’t have a brand name on it, and you want a range of sizes from at least 7mm (brake bleed nipples) up to 22mm (or even 24mm).

Next on the shopping list would be a set of 3/8” drive sockets (Fig.4), normally 10mm to 19mm, followed by a ratchet and a pack of 3/8” extensions. Buy a ratchet that has a flip lever, 72 divisions to the ratchet, and in no way resembles a banjo (Fig.5). Not a socket set, you’ll note,

as you’re paying for a box you don’t want, and there’s no room for expansion.

By this point your tools’re reasonably happy wrapped up in an old T-shirt, which's useful to have while you’re getting oily hands, but is a bit clumsy so it’s probably time to think about a box to put them in. If you’re not blessed with a workspace with a roof, a door and a bench, then a five-tray cantilever box's a good start (although some of them’re very tinny, so be wary of buying excessively cheap ones online). If you do have the roof, door and bench, then a chest or cabinet with drawers might suit better but, again, stupidly cheap ones're best treated with suspicion. Places like FB Marketplace and Gumtree’ll often turn up used tool boxes at sensible prices, and with a bit of paint and some draw-liner, you’re away. I use the metal strip that the sockets came on, and rivet it into the box (Fig.6).

One of the next things you’re likely to want to buy is a set of 3/8” deep sockets (Fig.7), although if you opted for a five-tray cantilever box, you’ll probably have to rivet or bolt the strip to the side of the box as it won’t stand up and let the lid close. I don’t think you need a ½” ratchet for working on motorcycles, but having a ½” breaker bar, and a 19mm socket, is useful (they also undo car wheels), and buy individual ½” sockets as you need them – I’ve got 32mm and 38mm ones for assorted things (Fig.8), and no idea why I actually bought them.

You’re going to need some Allen keys sooner or later and, very likely, some Torx keys too (Fig.9) so, while it’s pushing the ‘hobby’ pricing limit a bit I’d suggest the Clarke PRO138 29pce Extra Long Hex & Torx Key Set. Yes, it has Imperial Allen keys which you’re probably not going to need, but they have long handles, a ball end, and get the job done, and include a T27 Torx key which’s a common size (and a lot of sets don’t include it) – £19.99 from Machine

Mart. With the addition of a pair of 10WR Irwin (Fig.10) self-locking grips, with built-in wire-cutter (often called ‘Mole’ grips, but that’s a UK brand, and the only other one you should consider buying), and a 1.5lb ball peen hammer, that ought to get you started.

Fairly soon I imagine you’ll find the need for a set of open-ended spanners, a set of side cutters, and a ¼” drive ratchet, and some ¼” sockets, but the thing with tools is that you do tend to just keep buying them so, when you buy a box, get one that seems a bit big.

Having got some tools, a few pointers about using them might be in order. ‘How tight?’ is probably the question most people ask, and the answer is: “Well, if it wasn’t falling off, how tight was it when you undid it?” It’s easier to gauge that if you set yourself up in a stable position before undoing anything, and pull the tool towards you (Fig.11), rather than push it away (Fig.12). That also has the added benefit of making you far less likely to punch anything sharp and pointy, and start bleeding all over the place.

For spanners use your free hand to support the motorcycle, and for sockets and ratchets, use your free hand to support the head of the ratchet (Fig.13). Screwdrivers work best when you’re stood close to them, and working them between your waist and your chest as you can twist them from your shoulders – rather than at arm’s length where you can only use your wrist. A torque wrench’ll tell you how tight you’ve done something up, but I’ve got three for different ranges of torque, and they never seem to be in the right units, so if you’re getting one just to gauge how tight you’re doing things up in general (as opposed to replacing a cylinder head), maybe a beam-type bendy bar one at around £15 would be the best bet?

Finally, rear sprocket nuts, disc bolts and the like. When you’re undoing them, arrange the tool so the handle passes over the centre of the wheel (fig.14). That way you’re applying more torque to the nut than you are to the wheel, whereas sticking it straight out from the nut or bolt (Fig.15) is doing more to turn the wheel than the nut.