What do women talk about? It will come as a surprise...

THE other week I met up with some women friends, more for a coffee and a catch up more than anything else.

And I got to thinking – do men ever wonder what we women chat about when we get together?

Well, I can tell you all now that it’s nothing like what men talk about. There was not one mention about football, cars, how good a pint it is, or gas barbecues.

No, we talk about much more interesting things, the sort of things that most men would never find interesting or amusing.

So, sit yourselves comfortably and I shall begin. Firstly, we have the loves and cuddles, as we greet each other.

We usually begin with a chat about every day things. You know the sort of things, how expensive everything is in the shops now, new foods, that sort of thing.

Then we have a catch-up about other friends that we haven’t seen in a while, and then we get our phones out and share photos of our grandkids and latest day trips.

The conversation usually moves on to girly things, like doctors and our bits and bobs, then move on to everyone else’s bits and bobs.

Then when we’ve thoroughly covered that, we move on to the menopause: hot flushes, forgetfulness and which one of us had the latest meltdown in the Co-op, that sort of thing.

It’s funny how we women can laugh at our own meltdowns, but heaven forbid that you men dare to.

We may then have a short spell and talk about you men. Coronation Street, you men, gardens, you men, clothes, you men again, except by now we’re not really talking about men, it’s more of a chuckle followed by whispered conversations that now and again we’ll have to repeat for the ones of us who are hard of hearing and we don’t want them to miss anything.

All this is thrown together with the occasional outburst of laughter. But just when we think that maybe we ought to try and calm down before one of us has a Tena Lady moment, one of us will say something else and we set off again.

By now others sat around are beginning to look over. Maybe they think that we’re slipping vodka into our drinks, wishing that they were sat with us.

We can see women out of the corner of our eyes giving a knowing nod and a smile, whilst men seem to be straining to hear what exactly we’re talking and laughing about.

Oh, the joy of being a woman. You see women have their own secret language that men know nothing about. We can literally have a conversation by just using words like.

Thingy, what’s her face, what yer mi call it, and thingy mi jig. And the rest of us knows exactly what they’re talking about, where as a man would just shake his head with a blank look on his face.

But we women know. Well needless to say our afternoon meet-up was just what we all needed. A good chinwag and a good laugh.

So, I shall leave you to finish doing yer what yer mi call it and enjoy yer thingy mi jig.