Resident joker Gary Rowley – author of That’s Terrible! A Cringeworthy Collection of 1,001 Really Bad Jokes — tries to brighten your day with a selection of gags...

THE bloke next door is self-identifying as a garden shed. I should have guessed…he hasn’t half put some timber on.

My pal was ejected from Oakwell for throwing flares on the pitch. I said, brilliant…now you’ve no kecks for the Abba tribute night!

I went to the doctors. I said, I’m obsessed with being in debt, while swimming in the Mediterranean, thinking about the fourth letter of the alphabet. He said, hmm…sounds like a bad case of owe-sea-D.

I ordered a book off eBay called, How to Avoid Being Scammed Online. A fortnight later, it’s still not arrived. Just seen a bloke with a shovel on a lead. Apparently it was the dog…he’d had it spade.

This cowboy asked me to lend him a fiver. I said, who are you, like…Skint Eastwood? Cowboy walks into a German car dealership and says, Audi…