Ways to avoid confusing kids over bereavement

APPROACHING the subject of death with your child can be a daunting task, especially when you are over- come with grief yourself.

Nothing can prepare you or your child for dealing with the loss of a relative or friend, however tips have been provided which may help ease how to explain death to your child.

Children may ask several questions when they find out that someone has died. Take time to listen to your child’s questions and be factual when answering.

Try not to give them more information than they have asked for and although you need to be upfront, refrain from being graphical especially if the death itself was unnatural.

Avoid phrases such as ‘gone to sleep’ because this can make children afraid of falling asleep.

Try and be blunt with your child in terms of saying that the person is dead and you haven’t ‘lost’ them. The phrase may confuse the child as they may ask if the person has been found, which can cause more upset to yourself.

Children tend to grieve differently to adults.

They can go from being upset one moment and happily running around and playing the next.

Conversations regarding the death of a loved one may take place over several days, weeks or even months as they get more curious.

If the child sees you or anyone crying, explain that it’s okay to cry, but it’s also okay not to. Grief is a personal journey and although every member of the family are experiencing the same loss, each person will grieve differently and there is no right or wrong way to do so.

If you notice that your child is struggling to come to terms with a death, don’t be afraid to seek help. Sometimes children don’t like to bother their adults because they are afraid of making them upset, but remind them that they can come and talk to you. If necessary, speak to a professional.

Remember, you need to grieve too. If you are finding it difficult to cope, talk to someone.