Resident joker Gary Rowley – author of That’s Terrible! A Cringeworthy Collection of 1,001 Really Bad Jokes — tries to brighten your day with a selection of gags...

It’s my first shift at the chess factory tomorrow. I’m on knights.

I sealed myself in a padded envelope then jumped in the post box and rang the wife. I said, I know I’m late but no need to worry…I’ll be back in a jiffy.

After 10 years, I’m sad to

announce I’ve left my job as a big dipper painter. Talk about an emulsional roller coaster.

I rang the doctors, thinking I was a dog. Receptionist said, before I can book you in, I’ll need to vet you. I said, I wouldn’t bother…I was wormed and flead last week.

I didn’t’ get very far in last night’s pop quiz. Question 2 was: who invented dandelion & burdock?

I’ve started work as a scrapbook salesman…but I don’t think I’m cut out for it.

I had a dream John Lennon formed a band with Gary Barlow. Imagine That.