‘No-one should be made to feel uncomfortable’

I am writing in response to a letter by Katie Wilson, describing their experience of meeting Barnsley fans in Hitchin on the day that Barnsley’s match against Stevenage was called off.

As you did in your letter, Katie, let me explain a little about myself too. I live in a sleepy North Hertfordshire town, not far from Hitchin but was born and brought up in Stevenage.

My mum was born and brought up in Barnsley with many of my family members still living in that area and where we all still enjoy visiting regularly. You could describe me as a mix of ‘southern softie’ and ‘northern grit’.

We are a family of big football fans, both Stevenage and Barnsley (plus Hertford, Liverpool and West Ham in the mix). The LBGTQ+ community is also something that is close to my heart for different reasons and I, too, have received very mixed reactions to my choice of gender identity, so I imagine we have some similar values and experiences.

I was sorry to read that you felt this ‘invasion’ of northerners in Hitchin made you feel uncomfortable that day and I am glad that you were able to find safety in the nail bar.

No one should feel uncomfortable anywhere, least of all in their home town. Although if you were ever in Stevenage or Barnsley town centres on match days, this would probably all feel very ‘normal’.

I do, however, feel compelled to respond to some of the comments you made in your letter. You are clearly a very open-minded and empathetic person but I find it rather ironic that you have made a number of assumptions about people – namely the ‘Northerners’ – that you came across that day.

You commented that a group of lads in a café were smiling out the window and you felt that they were commenting on you, something that you claim you have never experienced before. Having grown up in Stevenage, I hardly believe this to be the case. Incidents of negativity towards members of the LBGTQ+ community in Stevenage/ Hitchin (as I’m sure is the case in most towns up and down the country) is something that happens daily in my experience.

Could it be that they are just a group of lads enjoying a day out together, having a laugh and a joke between themselves? People from up north do, believe it or not, have a sense of humour and more to talk about than their recovery from pit closures.

You also describe a small group of men singing ‘raucously’ in the street. As far as I am aware this is perfectly normal behaviour on a big match day.

As you describe yourself as a ‘football fan’ I’m surprised that this is something new to you. You clearly don’t deliver your newsletter around Broadhall Way or Roaring Meg on a match day!

You have stated that you ‘got more than a few looks from these gritty northern folk’ who you claim were ‘well-oiled by now’ when you went in and out of pubs.

If you are ever lucky enough to visit pubs in and around Barnsley, you will find that locals will quickly spot strangers and welcome them with a very friendly greeting. Something like “ey up love” or similar. Perhaps they were looking at you longer than you liked hoping to exchange a pleasant greeting with you or perhaps admiring your outfit? I wonder if anyone else, who was not from Barnsley, looked at you that day?

Your choice to continue to go in and out of pubs (where generally alcohol is being consumed), by now realising the game had been called off, and with a ‘touch of unease’ is also rather odd.

Perhaps leaving your newsletter delivery to later that afternoon or to another day would have been a sensible choice if you find football chanting and ‘northern invaders’ in town a discomfort.

I am glad you were able to speak to one friendly northern you came across who was ‘sober’ and hope that this one exchange might help you to see that people from Barnsley are not all ‘gritty and hard’.

Having said that, I imagine there were more sober northern folk than you imagine in Hitchin that day – most of them would be horrified by the cost of a southern pint and would refuse to pay it!

It’s a shame, in this day and age, that anyone should feel uncomfortable around other people and I think you are right that, on the whole, football and its fans have a long way to go in embracing inclusivity, but I do think your letter in itself highlighted your own very narrow-minded viewpoint about ‘Northerners’.

If you ever get the chance, spend some time up North and pay a visit to Barnsley. I think you will be pleasantly surprised, hun.