Ralph Oswick: Fringe programme includes Timpson the Musical

Abig thud and this year’s biblically proportioned Edinburgh Fringe programme landed on my doormat this week. With thousands of shows in nearly 550 venues, there’s a lot to choose from! As usual, I have picked a few plums for your delectation. By way of change, I thought I might scour the opera and musicals section, not an area I wander into on a regular basis, but nevertheless I present here a selection of shows which I may or may not add to my itinerary. How can I not include Bark, the Musical on my list of recommendations? Described as a warm homage to dogs seen from the puppy’s point of view and declared to be ‘howlingly funny’ by one critic, it sounds irresistible. Not. More to my taste, and possibly yours is another musical offering entitled Drive-by Shooting, an octogenarian story of passion and revenge played out on Zimmer frames. Now that I can identify with, what with my dodgy knees and all. Next up is one of those impossible choices that the Fringe constantly presents to an ardent punter with limited time and a propensity for cultural indigestion. Should I try Splashback, a new musical about a day in the life of a men’s toilet, or do I go for Shower Thoughts, a song cycle about special and hilarious thoughts in the most overlooked room in the home? Or should I just go to the pub, order a pint of heavy and prepare myself for Holy Moses, a madcap retelling of the teenage years of one of the bible’s greatest heroes? Then there’s the musical about the discovery of penicillin, another about three students seeking their goal in life (an endless supply of cheap lager?), three versions of Sister Act, a hip hop musical about Henry VIII and what is described as a post-apocalyptic production on the themes of gender equality, caste discrimination and environmental awareness. Hamilton (Lewis) is a spoof that perhaps sounds better on paper, and Fisherman’s Tail about four fishermen who get caught up in the whirlwind of Jesus’ life and miracles could be a bit happy-clappy and send me out gasping for a fish supper. As for Banging and Screwing, I’m hoping it’s a show about B&Q and not S&M. What next, a musical set in Homebase? Romance in the queue at the flatpack warehouse?* This is all very well, and I hope if you are visiting Auld Reekie for a bit of fringe fun you will consider my recommendations. However, if like me you can only take one musical per annum, there is one in the programme that really shouldn’t be missed. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Timpson the Musical. Yes, it really is a musical about your favourite key cutting kiosk. *Ha! I already did this. I once wrote an award-winning topical song called Midnight at Ikea.