A place to feel safe is so vital for children

“Father Christmas won’t come this year. He doesn’t know where we live any more.”

Children’s independent domestic violence advocate Pansy was keen to deny these words, spoken in December at the Julian House family refuge in Bath.

“Father Christmas definitely does come,” she said.

Indeed Father Christmas had trouble getting his sack down that particular chimney this year.

Julian House was inundated with gifts for the families in the shelter, and thanks to your generosity, the big guy in red came along with toys, clothes, vouchers, games, toiletries, stockings and lots and lots of chocolate.

Talking to the children’s advocate, you can hear immediately how honoured she feels to work with a delightful group of youngsters.

“Children who experience trauma will all react in different ways,” she said.

“There’s a huge range. Some of them are not aware at all that they were involved in an abusive family situation, and at the other end of the spectrum, some have been the direct victims of physical or sexual abuse themselves.

“A number do experience the side-effects of trauma in their past,” she said, “but they are all beautiful, lovely children.”

There is space for eight families in the Bath hostel and the children all go off to different schools, depending on which has space for them when they arrive in Bath.

“It’s really lovely how they all get on right now and see each other as friends and siblings,” said Pansy.

“They’re all really excited to get home from school and see each other.”

There are eight different families living in one tight space, sharing a kitchen and often they develop strong bonds and strong friendships, which even cross language barriers.

There are two different international languages spoken in the Bath hostel right now.

Once a child is away from an abusive situation, has a warm home, a safe environment and secure relationships, the next stage is to help them feel safe again and have safe interactions with adults.

Then a children’s advocate can step in to give them an opportunity to explore the things they have experienced or witnessed and develop therapeutic interventions.

Part of Pansy’s role is to participate in important elements in a child’s recovery: to help them understand what love is, what is kind, what is cruel, and that the previous abuse is not their fault; that there is nothing they have done to deserve this treatment.

Some of these interactions take place while baking, and Pansy gives the older children cooking lessons, directly after school.

Children love to cook and they talk while they bake buns.

While Julian House is very appreciative of the wonderful gifts given at Christmas, the families need help all year round.

You can make a contribution to the appeal using the form on this page.