Medieval manners
Is it ever polite to wipe your mouth with a tablecloth? Acting podcast editor RHIANNON DAVIES explores the vagaries of social etiquette in the Middle Ages
While I was growing up, “keep your elbows off the table” was a common refrain at dinner time. But, as I learned in our recent podcast episode with medieval historian and author Danièle Cybulskie, such reprimands have a long history – harking all the way back to the Middle Ages.
In the medieval period, manners “were almost more important than they are today”, explained Cybulskie. They were particularly prized by social climbers, because a firm grasp of etiquette was a way of standing out from the crowd: “It showed you were sophisticated and educated, and ready to hang out with the most important people of the day.”
But what would have ingratiated you with a medieval host, and what kinds of social faux pas would have ensured that you were never invited back? According to Cybulskie, practising good hygiene was key, particularly when it came to the dinner table. In this era, dining was a much more intimate experience than it is today. When sharing a meal with a dining partner, you would also be sharing cups and plates.
“Don’t blow your nose at the table, or wipe your face on the tablecloth,” Cybulskie advised. “Instead, you should wipe your face with a napkin before taking a sip of wine [from a shared cup], so you don’t leave an oil slick for your partner.”
As well as listing some behaviour to avoid, Cybulskie shared tips on how to be an attentive dining partner. “You would want to give the best portions of food to your partner at the table,” she said, “and make sure they were comfortable and well taken care of.”
Such social codes were set out in handbooks at the time. One of these, The Book of the Civilised Man, written in the early 14th century, was aimed at boys and young men – and, with advice tailored to this audience, warned its young readers against “making bodily function jokes at the table”.
Social conventions extended beyond the dining hall. When visiting someone’s house, for instance, it was considered de rigueur to wash your hands on arrival, so that you didn’t bring dirt or grime inside. Though this is one custom that chimes with us in the 21st century, others feel decidedly medieval: one book implored readers “to make sure you get down from your horse before entering someone’s house”.