Kids hate me for split

Belfast Telegraph - Weekend - - WEEKEND TV -

When my wife and I di­vorced, it was pretty messy, but I am now hap­pily set­tled with some­one else, as is my ex-wife.

I’m re­ally up­set, though, that the re­la­tion­ship with my chil­dren is not as good as it should be. They are now 22 and 24, and I know I put them through a lot.

My son still re­fuses to talk to me. My daugh­ter works very long hours, so when I do even­tu­ally talk to her, she’s usu­ally very tired and wants to end the con­ver­sa­tion quickly.

It seems so un­fair — my wife and I both had af­fairs, but I’m the one that seems to have been blamed for ev­ery­thing. FIONA SAYS: TRY BUILD­ING BRIDGES I re­ally think you need to find a way to talk to them about the di­vorce.

It might be eas­ier if you started with an email or a let­ter ask­ing for a get-to­gether, per­haps over a drink or a meal.

They do need to know how much you regret how what has hap­pened has af­fected them. Avoid blam­ing your ex-wife and, in­stead, fo­cus on ex­plain­ing how you felt and why you needed to sep­a­rate from their mother. My son has never set­tled down any­where. He works as a long-haul air stew­ard trav­el­ling all over the world. I thought he’d set­tle when he got mar­ried seven years ago, but far from it. He and his wife have moved four times since they mar­ried. The last time was 18 months ago, but they’re al­ready think­ing about where to go next. They’ve got two chil­dren now and I don’t think it’s good for them to keep be­ing up­rooted. Do you think he has a prob­lem? FIONA SAYS: BE WARY OF IN­TER­FER­ING I don’t know if your son has a prob­lem, be­cause I don’t know enough of his cir­cum­stances. What­ever his rea­sons, while you (and I) would find it a huge wrench to keep mov­ing, per­haps he and his fam­ily en­joy it. Un­less they have in­di­cated that they’re un­happy, I wouldn’t in­ter­fere.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.