Kids hate me for split
When my wife and I divorced, it was pretty messy, but I am now happily settled with someone else, as is my ex-wife.
I’m really upset, though, that the relationship with my children is not as good as it should be. They are now 22 and 24, and I know I put them through a lot.
My son still refuses to talk to me. My daughter works very long hours, so when I do eventually talk to her, she’s usually very tired and wants to end the conversation quickly.
It seems so unfair — my wife and I both had affairs, but I’m the one that seems to have been blamed for everything. FIONA SAYS: TRY BUILDING BRIDGES I really think you need to find a way to talk to them about the divorce.
It might be easier if you started with an email or a letter asking for a get-together, perhaps over a drink or a meal.
They do need to know how much you regret how what has happened has affected them. Avoid blaming your ex-wife and, instead, focus on explaining how you felt and why you needed to separate from their mother. My son has never settled down anywhere. He works as a long-haul air steward travelling all over the world. I thought he’d settle when he got married seven years ago, but far from it. He and his wife have moved four times since they married. The last time was 18 months ago, but they’re already thinking about where to go next. They’ve got two children now and I don’t think it’s good for them to keep being uprooted. Do you think he has a problem? FIONA SAYS: BE WARY OF INTERFERING I don’t know if your son has a problem, because I don’t know enough of his circumstances. Whatever his reasons, while you (and I) would find it a huge wrench to keep moving, perhaps he and his family enjoy it. Unless they have indicated that they’re unhappy, I wouldn’t interfere.