I want to get mar­ried

Belfast Telegraph - Weekend - - WEEKEND TV -

In the new year, when I am 22, I will have lived with my boyfriend for four years. We have a lovely daugh­ter and a nice flat, but while we seem happy, I’m wor­ried about the fu­ture.

I think it’s im­por­tant that we get mar­ried, not just be­cause it con­firms our com­mit­ment to each other, but also be­cause it would be bet­ter for our daugh­ter. How­ever, he thinks we’re too young to go through a mar­riage and gets a bit an­gry when­ever I men­tion it.

Why is he do­ing this? Can’t he see how im­por­tant it is? Should I in­sist on it? FIONA SAYS: AN UL­TI­MA­TUM COULD BACK­FIRE I am not sure that would help. He has made his cur­rent feel­ings clear and if you try to force change on him it is likely to back­fire. It may sim­ply push him into a de­ci­sion that nei­ther of you seems to want, namely that he leaves you.

That said, I see noth­ing wrong with get­ting some clar­i­fi­ca­tion about the fu­ture. For ex­am­ple, at what point will you stop be­ing too young? And does he see a time when you could be mar­ried?

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