‘One man – and 80 children – showed me love’
When Katherine De Kretser, 41, went to volunteer in Sri Lanka, she had no idea it would change the course of her life forever
At the age of 28, I was enjoying my life in London. I had a good job in recruitment, and a large circle of friends and family around me. But I craved adventure and wanted to experience a completely different culture. As I tried to figure what to do and where to go, my dad Peter made a suggestion. He was born in Sri Lanka, and although he hadn’t back in years, he told me about an orphanage built near the beach called Prithipura. It sounded like a special place, and as I read up about it online, I learnt that it was set up in 1964 by a man called Bryan De Kretser. After he’d heard there were children abandoned at the local hospital because of their disabilities, he bought a hut and some land and took on three children. Eventually, Brian found love with one of his employees, Thillaka, and they went on to marry and have three sons. Since then, the charity had expanded to four different locations across Sri Lanka caring for over 240 children and adults. Although I had no experience of working with people with disabilities, I really wanted to contribute, so I signed up to volunteer there for six months.
In January 2008, I quit my job, put my belongings into storage and waved my family and friends goodbye. I couldn’t wait to start my new adventure, and when I arrived at Colombo airport in Sri Lanka, one of Bryan’s sons who worked at the orphanage kindly came to pick me up. His name was Pieter, 53, Although he was late, he was lovely and greeted me with a warm smile. “Welcome to Sri Lanka,” he said. Immediately, I felt at ease, and when we arrived the orphanage, he showed me around and introduced me to the other workers and volunteers. The place had beautiful surroundings and a welcoming atmosphere, so
I could see why they’d named it Prithipura, which means Happy Village. I was amazed to see how everything operated smoothly on a tiny budget. Pieter’s family had achieved so much with so little.
My role was to look after babies and young children who had severe disabilities, such as six-month-old Dinushi. She had no functional use of her arms and legs, but she was so bright and determined, I adored her. I had to adapt to a new culture and language, and there were so many people with so many different disabilities, it was overwhelming at first. But after a few weeks, everything clicked into place and I developed a patience I never knew I had. I loved every moment. A network of employees and visiting volunteers kept the cogs turning, and I was honoured to be part of it.
As my stay was longer than most volunteers, I got to know Pieter and the team well, and when it came time to say goodbye after six months, I was absolutely heartbroken, but I vowed to return. Inspired by my experience, once back in London, I got a job in social care, focusing on children with disabilities. I stayed in touch with Prithipura, and a few months later, Pieter came to the UK to visit family, and we met up a few
times. It was lovely to reminisce and ask him about all the children. But it was also nice to get to know Pieter as a friend rather than a colleague. He was so kind and caring, and I could definitely sense chemistry between us. Only, neither of us said anything. We lived on opposite sides of the world – we had completely different lives.
Over the next two years, Pieter and I stayed in touch sporadically, and I went to visit Prithipura for a fortnight in 2009. Then, on New Year’s Eve 2010, I was about to head into town to celebrate when I got a phone call from Pieter out of the blue. “Happy New Year,” he said, and I felt butterflies. “Shall we talk again tomorrow?” I asked and Pieter agreed. After that, we began Skyping each other every day, and very quickly, I realised it wasn’t just the children I loved and missed. It was Pieter, too.
Over the next several months, we started talking seriously about a future together and getting married. Although Pieter had a British passport, he was too dedicated to leave the charity, so it would be up to me to leave my life in the UK. I had to be sure it was what I wanted, so the following April, I booked a flight to Sri Lanka. Pieter turned up with flowers at the airport, and seeing him made my heart skip a beat. It was pouring with rain, and once we got outside the airport, Pieter and I had our first kiss. I stayed for three weeks and arranged to go back again in August.
After going back to the UK, I counted down the days until I’d see Pieter again. Four months later, I went back to Sri Lanka, and Pieter arrived again at the airport holding a bunch of flowers. One evening, as we sat on a terrace overlooking the ocean, Pieter produced a beautiful ring out from his pocket and proposed. I was incredibly happy, and although I knew it would be hard leaving my friends and family behind, Prithipura was a home from home, and I knew I could make a happy life there with Pieter. My parents were heartbroken about me leaving, but they were also delighted for me. In January 2012, Pieter and I married in a small registry office ceremony in London surrounded by close friends and family.
Then, in March, I packed up my life and we flew to Sri Lanka to start our new life together. Everyone at Prithipura was so happy to see me with Pieter, and I was honoured to help him run the community. While I took charge of sponsorship, fundraising, volunteer support and sustainability plans, Pieter oversaw all projects across our four locations. There was always a lot to do and the years flew by.
Then, in 2020, the coronavirus pandemic spread around the world and all our communities had to go into lockdown. It was terrifying, and Pieter and I had many sleepless nights worrying about every conceivable scenario. At one point, we nearly ran out of food, but we took things day by day and managed to keep everyone well and safe. And because Pieter and I weren’t rushing off to the next meeting or errand, there was more time to spend with the children.
Whenever I felt anxious, stressed and worried about the pandemic, a smile from Ashu, three, who has Down’s syndrome, was enough to make me feel stronger. And it was amazing to see how far Dinushi, now 12, had come since I’d first cared for her as a baby. She’s grown into such a lovely little girl who has learned to write, draw and sew using her mouth. All our children can surpass expectations.
Sadly, Pieter’s father died in 1997, and his mum passed away in 2018, but they would be so proud of what Pieter continues to achieve. Sri Lanka has just gone into its second national lockdown, and we have remained in selfisolation to shield so many of our high-risk vulnerable children and adults. Of course, I miss my family back in the UK, but I wouldn’t swap my life here with Pieter and our community for anything. I feel so lucky to call this Happy Village my home.
‘I was incredibly happy’
● For more information and to donate or volunteer, visit Prithipura. org or Facebook.com/prithicom