‘My brother’s tragic death made me LIVE LIFE TO THE FUL
Following the death of her 16-year-old brother Josh, Jodie Tyler, 27, comfort ate her way to over 17st
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Walking along the beach with my brother Josh, 16, he looked so happy as he took pictures of the beautiful surroundings. “Just make sure you delete any photos of me,” I said as I tugged at my sarong. It was April 2015, and we were on holiday in Turkey with my parents Julie and Raymond, and my boyfriend Callum to celebrate my 21st birthday. It was the first time my parents and Josh had been abroad, and they were loving every minute – especially Josh, who couldn’t stop taking photos wherever we went. I should have been enjoying myself, too, only I felt too anxious about how I looked and had banned anyone from taking a photo of me.
For the past few years, I’d been in denial about how big I’d become. I kidded myself that I was a size 18, but in reality, I was more a size 20 and now in the Turkish heat, I still covered up my arms and legs as much as possible. For the entire two weeks, I felt like I couldn’t relax properly because of my insecurity. I promised myself
I’d go on a diet when we got back to the UK, but just a day after we returned home to Sheffield, something devastating happened that changed our lives forever.
At around 10.20pm, Josh was driving home on his scooter when a car driving on the wrong side of the road crashed into him. Josh, who had been wearing his helmet and had always been a careful driver, died at the scene. It was the worst day of my life. My little brother had just started to find out who he was. He’d had the most amazing family holiday and had been talking about going to Thailand with his mates when he was 18. But he would never get to do any of that now. His death destroyed our family and I felt so numb at his send-off a few weeks later. The funeral made the local press and there were photos of me outside the church all over the front pages. When I saw them,
I thought I looked terrible, but I was too wrapped up in my grief to give it any more thought. That simply didn’t matter.
Food numbed the anguish I felt, and for the next two years, I put on even more weight. Although I knew how to cook from scratch, I could never be bothered and relied on anything out of a packet or jar. Three nights a week, Callum and I would either have a burger or Chinese takeaway, and inbetween meals, I was constantly reaching for crisps, chocolate or biscuits. As I comfort ate, and my clothes became tighter, I was embarrassed about going out and would cancel plans with friends as I didn’t want to be judged. And I felt so guilty – Josh had lost his life tragically at such a young age, yet I was wasting mine, choosing to eat rather than enjoy myself.
I got pregnant and gave birth to
Olivia in May 2018, and seven months earlier, Mum had given birth to her surprise “miracle” daughter Frankie. Frankie and Olivia brought us all some much-needed joy and hope, and we decided to book another family holiday to Turkey for July 2019. On New Year’s Eve 2018, we were all talking about our upcoming holiday when I remembered how much I had shied away from the camera when on holiday with Josh. Again, I felt so much guilt about Josh, that I was wasting my life while he had barely started his. I needed to make changes in his honour and I knew I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling unhappy with how I looked. “I’m going to lose 3st before this holiday,” I said. I explained how my friend had already lost a couple of stone with Slimming World and I planned to join her. “Good for you,” everyone replied, but they’d heard it all before, because I’d tried and failed at so many diets in the past. Only this time, something had clicked and I knew what I needed to do.
On 7 January 2019, I walked through the doors of my local Slimming World group and never looked back. At 5ft 7ins, I weighed 17st 7lbs, so I wrote down my target of a 3st loss in six months. Straightaway, I organised my food shopping, replacing anything ready-made with fresh produce and stocking up on lots of herbs and spices. The recipes were easy to follow, and Callum and I realised that our homemade “fakeaway” Chinese and burgers were far tastier than the actual takeaways. As I really wanted to achieve my target by my holiday, I completely cut out chocolate, biscuits and crisps for the first few months, so I could re-educate myself to snack on healthier alternatives such as fruit and lowfat cereal bars. The thought of our holiday kept me motivated, and by the end of April, I’d already smashed my 3st loss target.
I was on a roll and when our holiday finally arrived in July, I’d lost a further 4st 7lbs. I was so proud of myself and it felt amazing to wear a size-14 bikini and happily pose for pictures.
I put on 5lbs over the holiday but I wasn’t worried. Within a couple of weeks, I was back on track and in November 2019, I achieved my new 6st loss target. Now, 18 months on, I’m much happier, more energetic and more comfortable in my own skin. I love that I can now be a more positive role model for our daughter and so is Callum, who has lost 3st himself from eating more healthily along with me.
We still miss Josh every single day and I know he would be proud of me. I’m sad that I don’t have many photographs of us together, especially on that last holiday, all because I felt too self-conscious. You never know what’s going to happen in life, so that’s why I’m making every moment count and making sure that I take plenty of photos, so Olivia will have lots of wonderful memories when she grows up.