Her priorities are all wrong

QThere were four of us at school who were all very tight. We spent every day together and would stay at each other’s houses. One of the four moved to Australia in her twenties and has been there for ten years. She’s coming home soon for a couple of weeks and will have a lot of people to see. We’ve made an arrangement on a certain day, but one of the other girls can’t make it as she’s going to a wedding with a man she’s only just met! Am I wrong to say she’s her priorities are off? This is our one chance to be all together again, and she’s bailing on us for some bloke.

AI understand that you want to recreate a time when you all hung out together and none of you had anywhere you’d rather be. Maybe if you were in the same situation, you might prioritise this reunion over the wedding. It’s perfectly normal for you to feel disappointed, and even to express this to your friend. But try to keep the judgement out of your comments. Let her know how much she means to you, how she’ll be missed, and that it won’t be the same without her. If you offer her your non-judgemental feelings, she may realise how important her role is in your friendship group. But try to remember what it feels like to be caught up in the first flushes of a new romance when all you want to do is be with that person. And that ultimately, it’s her choice to make.