Toxic Tease

whole idea that a friend in need is a friend indeed, as I feel it’s quite easy to be there for someone when they’re at a really low ebb, because it makes you feel good to be needed. But, in fact, a real friend is someone that when something is going well for you, will celebrate your wins with you and be happy for you. That’s much rarer and that may not come from the person who you consider to be your BFF, but that is actually your best friend as they genuinely want the best for you – it’s not about what you

can give them.”

A gentle tease within your close friendship group is one thing, but if you have a pal who always has a tendency to take the joke too far, leaving you and everyone else feeling uncomfortable, you’re well-advised to confront this behaviour. “If somebody knows that you have a really deep-rooted vulnerability, something that’s a real trigger for you – maybe something you’re still working through or you still feel a little bit sensitive about – and they’re using that against you, it’s like they’ve deliberately zoomed in on that thing because they know that’s a way to really get to you. That subtle undermining of self-esteem or backhanded compliments might sometimes feel like jokes, but they’re not. If they weren’t said with a smile, they would actually be really hurtful comments, but you’re meant to brush them off because they’re said in a jokey manner.” Natasha advises calling out the behaviour by explaining to your friend how it’s making you feel. “There is a complex dynamic in friendship groups, and quite often you have a situation where one person in a group is actually having a negative impact on everyone else, but everyone else thinks that they’re the only one