‘DON’T DREAD THIS STAGE OF LIFE – it can transform you for the better!’
Lou Featherstone, 52, has embraced middle age – and wants other women too, as well…
Wearing thigh-high cowboy boots, pink hot pants and a leopard-print crop top, I sashayed across the road and twirled my f loor-length cape in the air like a matador. Posing for the camera, I smiled, before posting the shot to my 63,500 Instagram followers. It might sound bizarre, but it was just another day in my crazy and brilliant life as an accidental middle-aged inf luencer.
I spend my days driving my vintage motor home across the USA and UK, where I hold inspiring events encouraging women to love themselves. From positivity sessions to masturbation workshops, it’s my mission to travel across the world and spread the message that the menopause and ageing are far from all doom and gloom.
A decade ago, things were very different. A vicar’s daughter, I’d been educated at a convent school and spent my life working on the crisis team at social services. I was happily married, had a gorgeous ten-year-old son and even joined the school PTA. Then in 2014, my husband was offered a job in Portland, America, and we decided it was time for an adventure.
But when we arrived, our dynamic slowly began to change. My husband travelled for work and after nearly 20 years of marriage, we had let our sex life fall into neglect. I was also going through the perimenopause, which meant I had terrible hot f lushes, gained weight and lost my libido. Looking back, I had spent 25 years putting my family first, and the only way I could express my voice was through my love of colourful vintage clothing.
My visa meant I couldn’t work at first, so I threw myself into fitness instead. I joined a gym, started walking and developed friendships with a group of amazing, uplifting women in the process. We’d drop our kids at school in the morning, then hike up the mountain trails in Oregon, before returning for pick up. As I kept trying new things, my confidence began to grow. I decided to turn my love of vintage clothes into a rental business, too, and began posting photos of me styling it out on Instagram.
Then, on New Year’s Eve 2019, we were hiking up a mountain peak when I decided on the spur of the moment to strip down to my trainers. Laughing, my friend snapped a photo of me from behind, and I posted it on my Instagram and wrote, “A new
‘It was time for an adventure’
decade! I’m gonna turn 50 & my ass is gonna take over the world!”
I’d never done anything like that before, but later that day, I received a message from a 26-year-old man from my gym. Let’s just say it was a racy photo, and when
I saw it, I dropped my mobile in shock. But to my surprise, I also felt turned on for the first time in ages. For years, I had assumed that part of my life was over, but suddenly, I was happy and horny. “There’s life in the old girl yet!” I thought.
That day sparked a series of crazy events. I decided it was time to buy a vibrator, and when I mentioned it on Instagram, a sex toy business reached out
‘My selfesteem shot up’
and asked me to become their influencer. Sure enough, a gigantic box of vibrators soon arrived on my doorstep, and I set about testing them in the spare room with glee. I finally got to know my body for the first time at 50, and my self-esteem shot up.
But while my confidence was growing, my marriage was falling apart, and during lockdown, my husband and I separated. It was devastating and I grieved for what we’d had, but I also felt empowered. Society has conditioned us to fear midlife and the menopause, but I felt stronger – and like
I was finding my voice. I practiced gratitude every day, went to therapy and posted messages about positivity on Instagram, alongside quirky videos of me prancing about half-naked in vibrant vintage clothing.
Of course, I kept it real, and posted tearfully about the tough times, too. Soon, my following skyrocketed to 63,500, and women began messaging me for advice and inspiration.
I longed to spread the word about self love and postmenopause empowerment on tour, and when I spotted a beautiful vintage motor home for sale, it sparked an idea. I could drive round the US, throw positivity parties and connect women. Of course, I didn’t have a spare £26,000, but that didn’t put me off. I started a crowdfunding campaign, offering friends and family a seat on the bus, and to my eternal gratitude, they donated £800.
The response was mindblowing, and within a month, I was travelling to Arizona to pick up Suzie, a huge RV. My son, who had just finished high school, was mortified at first, but when he realised how powerful my message was, he was proud. I had Suzie painted in a green and pink leopard print, with the words “self-love revolution” emblazoned across her sides and front.
Throughout everything, I tried to bust menopause myths. Yes, it can change how you feel about getting older, but midlife doesn’t have to be awful. In fact, it can be liberating and empowering. Your kids are grown up, your periods have stopped and you no longer have to live for everyone else. The menopause isn’t something to dread – in fact, it can transform your life for the better. We just need to talk about it more.
I think it’s so important to teach women how they can change their mindset, find the positive in every day and learn to love themselves. I even hold masturbation workshops, where I talk through different sex toys. Personally, I know I’m not ready to start dating yet, but I’ve had some of my best orgasms on my own.
Earlier this year, I f lew back to England, where Suzie and I will soon kickstart our UK roadshow. I’m currently living in London and I’m starting a new podcast, too. Of course, I’m nervous about the challenges ahead, but I refuse to be scared by change. I’m 52, and quite frankly, I feel like I haven’t got time to waste.
Diving into the menopause has been both the best and the hardest years, but life is a rollercoaster and I love its highs and lows. I want to make the most out of every day, and help other women do the same.