Thanks, Bernard
Dear Simon,
Back in 1982, I was a local businessman in Hadleigh, Essex. I was also a member of Hadleigh and District Chamber of Trade, and that year, I had the honour to be invited to become president.
My term as president involved chairing monthly meetings with members, and attend annual National Chamber of
Trade meetings as far away as Buxton in Derbyshire and Guernsey in the Channel Islands. I was also obliged to be present at a variety of events wearing the large weighty impressive chain of office. On many occasions, I would come into contact with various dignitaries.
One Monday afternoon, during business hours, I was summoned by the chamber’s secretary to attend an official opening of a local care home. As a result, I left my office to nip home, hurriedly change my clothes and put on the chain of office.
Upon entering the newly built care home, it seemed evident that I was the last person to arrive. Our local MP, Sir Bernard Braine, was amid a small gathering. His sharp eyes looked up as I paused momentarily by the door. With a smile, he immediately broke away from the small group. His grin widened as he rushed towards me, with outstretched arms; as though greeting a long-lost friend.
Although we had met many times before, I was somewhat taken aback by this sudden expression of warmth, but returned the smile. As he neared, his voice resounded around the room: “My dear fellow.” He placed his open hands upon my shoulders, and gave me a hug before whispering in my ear, “Your flies are undone.” To which, concealed by his bulk, I quickly pulled up the offending zipper with a low grateful murmur of “Thanks, Bernard”.