Kim Woodburn: ‘I never go looking for trouble, you know!’
‘Queen of Clean’ Kim Woodburn tells best about surviving the Celebrity Big Brother house, her latest career ambitions and why she’s such a tough character…
If fighting talk was an Olympic sport, How Clean Is Your House? star Kim Woodburn, 74, would win gold. She came third in Celebrity Big
Brother as her shocking put-downs of fellow housemates captivated the nation. Yet she says all she wants is a quiet life with her husband, Pete, at their Cheshire home…
Kim, now you’ve had a chance to reflect, how was for you?
CBB Soul-destroying! I missed Pete terribly… and I do regret that it all turned out so badly. I hated that people ganged up on you. You had a word with one and seven turned on you!
But you weren’t exactly a wallflower yourself…
I gave as good as I got because I had to. I never look for trouble, you know – life’s too darned short. But bring trouble to me and, by Jove, you’ll get it back tenfold!
We noticed you bonded with Jedward, though…
Such lovely boys! I’ve said it before, but Coleen [Nolan] should never have won. She was all, ‘Morning, Kim; want a cup of tea, Kim?’, but then, apparently, when the opportunity arose, she was pulling me to pieces. She’s two-faced and boring, and smokes like a chimney.
The chat you had with Phillip Schofield on This
Morning after you came out was interesting…
I like Phillip, but asking Coleen via live link if there was anything she wanted to say to me… I thought, ‘Oh, now, Phil, are we muckstirring?!’ It’s good TV, and I don’t blame him, but he picked on the wrong old broad. I think I trounced him! He was a naughty boy.
There are rumours of you being lined up to host a Judge Rinder- style chat show. Do you find that an appealing prospect?
It would have to fit in with my lifestyle. I’m fit, but I’m also 74! If it took up a lot of my week, no. What I really want is to be in a comedy. I want to be the next Hyacinth Bucket, but nobody’s taken the hint yet. My last ambition is to play a comic old battle-axe!
Is your TV persona just a clever front, though?
No – I’m absolutely as you see me. There’s a very quiet side to me, you know. If people don’t knock on my door for a week, it doesn’t bother me. But don’t mess with me; my life’s been too hard. I’ve been deeply hurt by my family and I had to live on my own from the age of 16, so of course I’m tough – I’d
have ended up on the streets otherwise. But I’m a good-hearted woman.
What has been your toughest moment?
There are too many to say, but the last one was my mum’s funeral – I get teary thinking about it. We never got on, but she carried me in her tummy and I had to carry her to her grave. My stepbrothers and sisters ignored me – fine, but when the priest read out the names of her children and I was left off the list, it broke me. It was like I’d never been born. Oh, how I wept. You know what? I’ve had a lot of unlucky times but, by Jove, I’ve had a lot of amazing times, too. Like meeting my lovely Pete.
What’s married life with Pete like?
We’re chalk and cheese, but we just love each other’s company. We’re not spring chickens – we’ve been married since 1979, and we’re getting on a bit, so we’re not swinging from the chandeliers. We live a very quiet life in Nantwich in Cheshire, we have lovely holidays together, and we laugh our socks off.
You always look so polished. Does your style take long to achieve?
I’ve had the same hairdo since the 70s, so it only takes me 10 minutes. Years ago, somebody told me I looked like an old-fashioned film star. That’ll do me. Old movie stars like Lana Turner were gorgeous – and they were sex symbols!
You had a dramatic makeover recently on Channel 5 show Celebrity 100% Hotter. Do you ever embrace the new look?
I’ve got the dark wig in the drawer, and I do wear the trench coat and the lovely boots occasionally. No one recognises me, which means I can flirt with all the young men! I could get rather fresh with someone in a bar, then run like hell. Not that I would dream of it, of course.
Have you ever had any plastic surgery?
Just a little Botox. I’d hate for people to go, ‘Look at that old bag – she can’t even move her face!’ As it is, I think I look pretty good for 74.