But what if you’re still not over your ex?
If the initial sting of the break-up refuses to go and you’re still convinced your ex is The One, all is not lost. Relationship coach Lee Wilson specialises in helping people reunite with past partners. Follow his words of wisdom to re-ignite the spark fo
Anyone who’s been dumped knows the feeling: your heart’s racing, your stomach tying itself in knots. The only thing that rivals your feeling of shock is the urgency to grab your ex and never let go. You’re panicking, desperate to find the magic words to change your ex’s mind or, more accurately, his heart.
At the time, it seems impossible, but there are ways to win them back, no matter how long you’ve been apart.
Firstly, they have to miss you. The only way they can do this is if you’re not available. Often, people who’ve been dumped call, text, or show up at their ex’s home. They think if they can just speak to them that, somehow, the relationship will be restored. But, usually, the exact opposite is true.
It’s only in your absence that your ex will have a chance to reflect on the break-up and decide if they actually want the relationship. That’s why it’s important to apply the nocontact rule – so your ex can see you aren’t going to chase them and you can move on.
Another classic mistake people believe is that if they start going out with someone else, then post pictures of it on social media, their ex will become jealous. The theory goes that they’ll be reminded of how attractive you are and you’ll become irresistible.
This might sound good, but it’s not practical. In the 18 years I’ve been a relationship coach, such stunts usually only push an ex further away.
For starters, they’ll likely feel that your relationship wasn’t that important to you if you’re able to start dating again so soon. It could also make you look desperate for anyone to fill the role of boyfriend or girlfriend.
Instead, take your mind off your heartbreak by going out with friends, enjoying hobbies or learning a new skill.
Though nothing is 100 per cent guaranteed, if you give your ex space, you’ll put the right kind of pressure on them, and allow them to experience the fear of losing you for good.
But what happens if, while you’re keeping your distance, your ex finds a new partner? Don’t despair. This can actually work in your favour.
Your ex may soon notice this new relationship doesn’t have the memories, in-jokes and intimacy of your relationship. This will be a sharp contrast to the shallowness of their rebound. Often that contrast causes your ex to miss what they had with you.
Your ex will be comparing you to this person and, if you handle the break-up well, you’ll be in a good position to attract them back. Good luck! See myexbackcoach.com